Why I Left The Mormon Church and Became a Daheshist

by Darrick T. Evenson

"And he shall be called Wonderful Counselor,...." (Isaiah 9:6)
Left: Doctor Dahesh (on a trip to India, 1983)

To the Honest Seeker of Truth...this brief article (20 minute read-time) is going to be the most important thing you've ever read or ever will read! The events described in this article are beyond belief, but 100% all true

Darrick Evenson
former Mormon missionary and Apologist
Author of "The Gainsayers"


The Wonderful Counselor

SALIM MOUSA ACHI ("Saleem Moosa Awshee"), later known as "Doctor Dahesh", was the most prolific worker of supernatural miracles of all time. He performed supernatural miracles almost on a daily basis, from a very young age until His death in April of 1984, in New York City. He routinely raised the dead, healed the sick, caused the blind to see and the deaf to hear. He walked upon water, turned water into wine, make inanimate things animated, materialized the dead loved one or some ancient Prophet, in broad daylight, using no darkened rooms, no props, no curtains or boxes. He founded the Noble Spiritual Faith in 1942, in Beirut, Lebanon. He was born in Jerusalem, on the Mount of Olives, in 1909. He grew up in Bethlehem, and Beirut: choosing to remain in Beirut, Lebanon, most of His adult life. In 1975, He left Beriut and flew to the United States, and spent the last 9 years of His life traveling the world, but with New York City as His home base. He was never a medical doctor. He had only three months of formal schooling as a child. His title comes from the Arabic "Duktur Dahesh" which means "Teacher of Wonder" or "Wonderful Councilor". In 1944, Doctor Dahesh was in Iran, and there He was shot for being a spy (He had no passport or paper). But He arose from the dead (as did Lazarus) and appeared back in Beirut. He finally died (as did Lazarus) in New York City in 1984.

Daheshism teaches that the physical body may "arise" from the dead within a limited time after death, but the physical body, made of dust, must always return to dust. However, the spiritual body, also called the Astral Body, survives death, and either ascends to the Kingdom of God, or, more likely, enters into the Spirit-World: there to await its next incarnation on Earth or perhaps even a lower Hell-world.

Dr. Dahesh was executed by a firing squad in Iran in 1944, because the Iranian Secret Service suspected he was a spy (having no passport). A photo was taken of the event, and sent back to Lebanon. But Dr. Dahesh arose from the dead, as Lazarus did, and, like Lazarus, He eventually got old and died and was buried.

The supernatural miracles of Doctor Dahesh are well attested, by thousands of witnesses: hundreds of which were interviewed in Lebanese newspapers. Over the course of many decades (1930s to 1975), hundreds of Lebanese and Egyptian journalists "witnessed" the supernatural miracles of Doctor Dahesh, and wrote about what they witnessed in articles they published in Lebanese and Egyptian newspapers of the day. Very few of these witnesses became Daheshists (changing your religion is very difficult in Middle-Eastern countries, and sometimes fatal). The Christian and Muslim clergy of Lebanon and Egypt, for the most part, ascribed His miracles to Satan: just as the Scribes (Jewish religious scholars) and Pharisees ascribed the miracles of Jesus to "the prince of demons".

Daheshists refer to Dr. Dahesh as "Our Beloved Prophet".

Others in Lebanon refer to Him as:

*"A Sent One" (a very holy man who can work miracles)

**"The greatest magician or all time."

***"The greatest hypnotists of all time."

****"A sorcerer" (worker in Black Magick)

Everyone in Lebanon over the age of 50 knows about Doctor Dahesh and His miracles. However, most of the younger generation of Lebanese have never heard of Him, or have heard of Him but know little or nothing about Him.

The name "Doctor Dahesh" is almost unknown outside of Lebanon and Egypt.

His witnessed (first-hand account with multiple witnesses) miracles include: *Walking upon water
*Turning water into wine.
*Causing birds in paintings to become 3-D, alive, and flay away, leaving a white blank space in the painting.
*Causing inanimate objects to become animated.
*Causing living and non-living things to change shape
*Causing a huge rock to descend through a roof and ceiling: leaving no whole in the roof or ceiling.
*Raising the dead
*Arising from the dead.
*Materializing dead prophets and dead loved-ones in from of their living loved ones in broad daylight, with no curtains or props.
*Materializing long lost objects people lost decades before.
*Prophesying of events in minute detail months or years before they occur.
*Speaking fluently languages He never studied, while in trance.
*Having up to six "doppelgangers" of Himself appear, in the same room, at the same time, in front of witnesses.
*Much, much more.

Eye-witness/first-hand testimonies of people (most of them Christians or Muslims or Agnostics) of the miracles of Dr. Dahesh were written in Beirut newspapers, from the 1930s to 1975, when Dr. Dahesh and a number of other Daheshists fled the Lebanese Civil War and resettled in the greater New York City area. These newspaper article accounts have been collected in books.

During life, Doctor Dahesh wrote 150 books of prose, poetry, parables, and social commentary. He also wrote Five Holy Books:

*The Gospel of Love
*My Testament
*The Inferno
*The Book of the Divine Guide

These Five Holy Books, in Arabic, have not been translated into English as of yet.. Dr. Dahesh was not the founder of a "Church". He called His organization "The Dahesh Mission". That Mission has not yet been organized. The teachings of Dr. Dahesh ("Daheshism") emphasis the following principles:

*God is the Mind of the Cosmos
*The Christ-Spirit is the Agent of God in the Cosmos, is not a man, but may "dwell" in men like water in a glass.
*The Law of Karma is operative upon all things.
*All souls reincarnate
*Our souls are comprised of Sayyals ("spiritual fluids")
*The Christ-Spirit will appear on this Earth 24 times, as 24 Sinless Prophets Jesus is Number One, and Dahesh is Number 20, and Number 21 is expected to arise in Nazareth, Israel, sometime around the year 2030 A.D.
*Our current mortal life is our "Day of Judgment" from our previous mortal life, and our next mortal life will be our "Day of Judgment" for our current mortal life.
*We are saved from the Wheel of Rebirth on the Hell-worlds (such as Earth) by being "born again".
*We are judged solely by how we treat others and not by our religion, church, caste, or what rites and rituals we have partaken of: the Atheist who does more good deeds will have a better Day of Judgment than the Christian or the Muslim who does fewer good deeds.
*God does not care what religion or church we belong to, or we call ourselves, or what rites or rituals we have partaken of: He cares only how we "treat" others.
*Evolution is true, but evolution is guided.
*We are saved by the Grace of God, not by our works, but we are "judged" (rewarded or punished) by our works.
*"Adam" did exist, but he was not the first man, but the first Man with a God-Breathed Soul (i.e. conscience)
*The Christ-Spirit will appear four more times on this planet, overshadowing four more Sinless Prophets: in the 21st, 22nd, 23rd, and lastly the 24th centuries.
*The Kingdom of Heaven is a group of planets that are far advanced of Earth: by thousands, or hundreds of thousands, or millions, or billions of years.
The disciples of Doctor Dahesh are called "Daheshists". We number about 2,000; mostly in Beirut, Lebanon, and the greater New York City area. There are also Daheshists in various parts of the U.S., Canada, Africa, Australia, the U.K., and France. We refer to Doctor Dahesh as "Our Beloved Guiding Prophet". He died in New York City, of a heart-attack, in April of 1984, and is now buried in a secret plot in or near that city.


A Seeker of Truth

MY NAME IS Darrick Evenson. I was born in 1960, in Los Angeles, California. I was raised in Santa Monica, Palm Springs, and Redwoord City, California. I was a Mormon from the ages of 18 to 35. I joined the LDS Church in 1979 when I was 18 years old. I officially resigned from it in 1996. I was only active for 8 years, and, half of that time, I was really "semi-active"; although I'd go to Church every Sunday, I kept no callings. Yet, I remained a True Believing Mormon (TBM) from 1979 until 1989. I was never a "Sunstone" (Liberal) Mormon. I believed that Joseph Smith was a Prophet, and that the Presidents of the Church were "Living Prophets". I believed that in General Conference, they spoke as if Jesus was speaking Himself. That is what I was taught, and that is what I believed.

I served an honorable mission to San Jose and San Francisco California (California San Jose Mission 1983-85). I have never violated the Word of Wisdom. I have never committed fornication, nor adultery, nor homosexuality. I am heterosexual. I was never excommunicated. I resigned from the Church in 1996. I went fully inactive in 1989, but did not resign until 1996. I did "try" to come back to the Church several times, but those attempts never "stuck". I knew too much. I never officially requested rebaptism By the time I'd been a Mormon for 8 years I KNEW that "all was NOT well" in Zion, and, at one time, very naively, I thought I could "clean up" the Church. I was very naive. You can read about that in my online book: Falling Into The Sun!. A link to that online book is below.

From at least the age of 11, or even before, I have had the "thought" that I knew Jesus, had met Him in a previous life, and that Jesus had reincarnated someone on Earth, and I was supposed to find Him. When I was a Mormon, I suppressed that "thought" because Mormonism teaches that reincarnation is not true. Yet, the thought persisted. That is why I spend tens of thousands of hours, and many decades, studying all the religions of the world. I was a Seeker of Truth, and I would not be content until I found it.

In January, 1977, I "saw" Dr. Dahesh at the Los Angeles Zoo. At the time, I had no idea Who He was. I was only 16 years old. I had an "urge" that day to go to the Los Angeles Zoo, alone, so I did. The day was cold and overcast, but the "URGE" go to to the Zoo was super powerful that day, for some reason, so I went. I rode three buses to get there. I saw a group of Arabic-speaking men, so I went over closer to them. I saw a stocky bald man come out of the men's room, and He looked at me. Our eyes met. He looked like He KNEW me, but I never saw Him before. Then He ran over to His companions, pointed at me, and YELLED something in Arabic while He pointed directly at me. The other men gathered around Dahesh, and alternately looked at me, and Him, with faces of shock or bewilderment This scared me, so I walked away fast. I would never see the name "Doctor Dahesh" until 2005, at the age of 44. I would never discover that Dr. Dahesh went to the Los Angeles Zoo on the same day I did, in January of 1977, until 2015. I've had a lot of paranormal experiences in my life. A few will be shared in this article (The Prophet of Lebanon), but most of them are recounted in my online book FALLING INTO THE SUN! which is linked in Part IV.

In this "20 minute read-time account" and in my online book (Falling Into The Sun!...takes 90 minutes to read) I give many accounts of the paranormal and supernatural. These are things that I truly saw and heard and witnessed! I am NOT LYING about any event I describe. Whether these were true visions, or hallucinations that my own mind created, what I write in these accounts is what I truly saw and heard. A few supernatural accounts are below, but my online book contains many of them. I'd had many supernatural events (or "hallucinations" take your pick) since I was 11 years old, when I had a Near-Death Experience.

I am now a Daheshist, a follower of Doctor Dahesh, the miracle-working Prophet of Lebanon: the most prolific worker of supernatural miracles of all time (or...the greatest magician of all time).


The Four and Twenty Elders

The ancient Nazoreans (a sect of Jewish Christians who lived in Palestine in the first century A.D.) believed that Jesus was a Sinless Prophet "in" Whom the Christ-Spirit (Holy Spirit) dwelt, from His baptism in the Jordan River to the Cross, and this Christ-Spirit left Jesus on the Cross: which is why Jesus cried: "My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?" The Nazoreans were later declared "heretics" by the Catholic Church: which changed Jesus from being "the Son of God" into "God the Son". Daheshists believe that same Christ-Spirit will also overshadow 23 other Sinless Prophets, Who will be born of women, one per century, from the 1st century to the 24th century. We call them the 24 Sinless Prophets.

Some early Christians did believe in reincarnation, as is taught in The Wisdom of Solomon (part of the original New Testament), and in the Secret Book of John. The Christian School of Alexandria, Egypt, founded by St. John Mark (author of the Gospel According to Mark), taught reincarnation. This doctrine was not condemned until the 4th century, when the Roman Emperor Justinian who, using threats and bribes, convinced the assembled Bishops to vote down the doctrine. Christians say that reincarnation is condemned in Hebrews 9:27 ("It is appointed for man to die one time, and then the judgment"), but all Bible scholars know that Hebrews was not written by the Apostle Paul, but by Hermas, the brother of a bishop of Rome, about 150 A.D. It was later "voted into" the New Testament. Daheshists believe the Words of Jesus, when He said:

"This soul needs to follow another soul in whom the Spirit of life dwells, because she is saved through the Spirit. Then she will never be thrust into flesh again." (Secret Book of John 14:20)

The Christians in Egypt, of the first four centuries, believed that The Secret Book of John contained the actual words of Jesus. It was part of their New Testament canon. Only later was it declared "heretical" by a Church Council; dominated by the Emperor Justinian, who used bribes and threats to condemn the doctrine of reincarnation, and to declare "heretical" the Secret Book of John and also The Wisdom of Solomon which declared:

"I was given a healthy body (at birth) to live in, because I was already good." (Wisdom of Solomon 8:19~20)

Daheshists would agree that "it is appointed for man to die one time, and then the judgment" (Hebrews 9:27); since, after our current life we are "judged" according to our actions (not our beliefs), and our next mortal life is our "Day of Judgment" for the things we did in this life. We dwell in the Kingdom of Hell-fire, where the Suns "burn" and ages our skin, and where demons (sociopaths) torment us, and where we drink the boiling water of birth, and the ice-cold water of death. We are stranded for eternity on the Wheel of Rebirth, in an endless series of lives and deaths, and our current life is our Day of Judgment for our last life, and our next life will be our Day of Judgment for our current life, and this endless cycle of lives/deaths/judgments in the Kingdom of Hell-fire will continue, until we decide to walk the Straight and Narrow Path that leads to Eternal Life on the Heavenly Planets; where the rays of the Suns does not damage or age our skins, and where there is no famine, or ageing, or violence, or injustice, or disease, or deformity, or death.

"Salvation" then, means to escape from the Kingdom of Hell-fire, to be "liberated" from the endless Wheel of Rebirth, and be "born again" into the Kingdom of Heaven.

In the Book of Revelations (Apocalypse) John, the Apostle of Jesus Christ, has a vision. In the vision he sees a Slain Lamb on a Throne, surrounded by seven candlesticks, four "beasts" with six wings, covered with eyes, and around them are 24 thrones. On the 24 thrones are "four and twenty elders" who wear crowns. They toss their crowns off and worship the Slain Lamb Who sits on the Throne.

Revelation chapter 5

One of these 24 Elders was Giordano Bruno, a "heretical" Catholic priest who lived in Italy in the 16th century. He taught reincarnation, and that the Sun was the center of this system, and the fixed stars were Suns in the centers of their own systems, round which planets revolved. This was contrary to the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church: which taught reincarnation was false, and that the Earth was the center of the Cosmos, round which the Sun, Moon, planets, and all the stars of the heavens revolved. It was said Bruno also worked miracles. Because of His "heresies" He was burned at the stake by the Inquisition in the year 1600. Many Christian "heretical sects" believed in reincarnation during the Middle Ages. If they were caught, they were tortured, then burned alive: all in the Name of Jesus. The 24 Sinless Prophets are the real Vicars (Deputies) of Christ. The Christ-Spirit (Logos) lives in them, and speaks and acts through them. That is why they have superhuman knowledge and abilities. But they are subject to death and injury, just like all humans are.

The followers of Doctor Dahesh believe that he is Number 20 of these 24 Elders. One "Elder" appears every century, from the 1st century to the 24th century, and Dahesh is "Number 20". These are the true Deputies of Christ. They are not Popes. They are not Patriarchs. They are not theologians. They are 24 Sinless Prophets; workers of supernatural miracles. You've never heard of most of them, but they are the Regents of Christ on Earth. The Christ- Spirit overshadows these men and speaks and acts through them. Dahesh was Elder Number 20 (for the 20th century). Elder Number 21 is due shortly.

The 24 Elders are the 24 Sinless Prophets, starting in the 1st century, and concluding in the 24th century. The Christ-Spirit "dwells" in all of these 24 Sinless Prophets

The Man called "Jesus Christ" was a Sinless Prophet in Whom the Christ-Spirit dwelt. That is what the Disciples of Jesus believed. That is what earliest Christians (Nazoreans) believed. That is what Daheshists believe. The Bible nowhere says that Jesus will only come "two" times. The words "Second Coming" and "Second Advent" does not appear anywhere in the New Testament. The Apostle John has a vision on the Island of Patmos, off the coast of Turkey, where he "sees" the Throne of God, and "four and twenty elders" sitting around the Throne, wearing crowns. These 24 Elders are the 24 Sinless Prophets.

The 24 Sinless Prophets are the true Vicars (Deputies) of Christ; not the Popes, not the Patriarchs, not the "Living Prophets" of the Mormon Church. Not the "Governing Body" of Jehovah's Witnesses. These Men are the Regents of Christ on Earth. The Christ-Spirit speaks and acts through these Sinless Prophets. The First was Jesus of Nazareth. The Last will come in the 24th century (2300s). The 20th Sinless Prophet was Salim Moosa Awshee (Salim Mousa Achi) of Lebanon, Who was born in Jerusalem in 1909, on the Mount of Olives, and died in New York City in April of 1984. He was known as "Doctor Dahesh".

You don't know it yet... but this is going to be the most important thing you will ever read!


Doctor Dahesh

Doctor Dahesh was born in Jerusalem in 1909, with the birth name of Salim Moosa Achi (aw-shee); the son of Assyrian Christians from Mosul, Iraq. They were members of the Alishiyah clan, a clan of Christians who traced their ancestry back to the Prophets Elijah and Elisha. Starting at the age of one year, Salim would work supernatural miracles. He grew up in Bethlehem (Summer months) and Beirut, Lebanon. He spent most of his adult life in Beirut. In 1975, he left Beirut at the beginning of the Lebanese Civil War, and came to New York City. He spent the last 9 years of his life in New York City; although he traveled widely. In 1930 he took the pen name of "Doctor Dahesh" which in Assyrian means "Teacher of Astonishment" or "Wonderful Counselor". He became quite famous in Lebanon as a worker of miracles. Some thought he was the greatest magician of all time. He healed the sick, raised the dead, cast out evil spirits, and caused inanimate objects to become animate. His miracles are in the thousands. Witnesses to his miracles are in the thousands, with hundreds still alive today.

Doctor Dahesh wrote 150 books, including five Books of Revelation. He never married. He lived a celibate life. He never claimed to be a medical doctor. The title "Duktur" in Assyrian, and Arabic, is a title of honor, like an honored teacher. He taught reincarnation, and that the Law of Karma is active upon all things: animate and inanimate. He taught that Jesus could come "twenty centuries" after He was born of Mary; that He would come to the village of Nazareth. The advent of the 21st Elder is due soon.

Hundreds of people are still alive today who eye-witnessed the miracles of Doctor Dahesh, and many of them wrote books or told what they saw in Lebanese and Egyptian newspapers. A full account of the supernatural miracles of Doctor Dahesh is found in "The Dahesh Chronicles"; a series of 13 volumes, 300 pages each, in the Arabic language.

Doctor Dahesh performed thousands of supernatural miracles. Hundreds of people, Daheshist and non-Daheshist alike, testified in first-hand eye-witness accounts of observing one or more of these supernatural miracles; in books or in Lebanese newspaper articles. He founded his own religion in 1943 called "The Noble Spiritual Faith". He taught his disciples to work miracles of healing through something called the "Raamz Rite"; which consists of writing a prayer in Arabic, in a very specific way, burning it, and using the ashes to heal with. Many have claimed instant miraculous healings via the Raamz.

In 1984, Doctor Dahesh died in New York City, at the age of 75. There are about 2,000 Daheshists in the world today: mostly in Beirut, Lebanon, and in and around New York City. The Noble Spiritual Faith is not yet organized, and cannot be, until The Book of Daheshism, by the late Dr. Ghazi Brax (the Apostle of Dr. Dahesh who died in 2014), is published. We do not know when that will be.

Daheshism teaches that we are not "saved" by going to Church, or belonging to any particular religion or church or caste. We are "judged" solely by our "actions" toward other living beings, and by nothing else. Our next moral life is our Day of Judgment for our previous mortal life.


Out of Body (OBE)

When I was 11, in 1972, living in Redwood City, California, I had an OBE (out of body experience), when I had a very bad fever. In great pain. My mom wanted to take me to the emergency room, but I dad refused saying I'd "be fine". In those days (1972), people without insurance or up-front money were often turned away from hospitals I remember not being to able to breathe, and then, suddenly, I found myself floating above my body. I looked down, and saw myself. I was fatter than I had thought. Also, my hair was really messed up, and I had a look of PAIN on my face, which was frozen. I wasn't moving. I remember I was wearing a t-shirt with brown horizontal stripes, and it had a root-beer stain from the day before. I started floating up, back first, toward the ceiling and i started going through the ceiling. I then realized that I had died, but I remember yelling: "No, I'm not ready to go yet!" At that point, I felt a "WHOOSH" and I was sent down back to my body. Back to the pain. Since that time, I've had what some people call ESP and also I've had at least two other OBEs (out of body experiences). I've seen ghosts/shadow people numerous times. I've had prophetic dreams that came true. I've had many "paranormal" experiences; a few of which you'll read about here. Many people who have had NDEs have said the same thing: that after their NDE the "veil" between this Seen World and the Unseen World had become "thin".


Trip to the LA Zoo

I was not raised in any religion, but my Dad believed in reincarnation. A "thought" was always in the back of my head: that Jesus had reincarnated, was living as a man somewhere in the world, with a new name, and I knew him when he was Jesus, and I was supposed to find Him. I had that "thought" ever since I could remember. One day, when I was 16 years old, and living in Santa Monica, California, next to Los Angeles, in January, 1977, I had the overwhelming urge to visit the L.A. Zoo. So, I got on a bus and went to the zoo. The trip took about three hours, because I had to transfer buses twice. I had no car at 16. I lived on the west side of LA. The zoo is north of downtown Los Angeles by about five or six miles, in Griffith Park. At the zoo I saw a group of men speaking Arabic, and this made me curious, so I approached them, and one of them, a bald man of about 60, looked at me and our eyes met, and almost ran over to the others with Arabic speaking men, and he SHOUTED something to the other men, while pointing directly at me. Yelled it...loudly! As he pointed right at me. This scared me, and I walked away as fast as I could. That Man was, I would later find out, a Prophet from Lebanon, and I wound learn much much later in life, a Prophet whose disciples believed he was Jesus reincarnated.


Joined the LDS Church

When I was 18 years old I join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: commonly known as "the Mormon Church". Mormons refer to it as "The LDS Church" or simply "The Church". I explain my reasons for joining the Church, and later resigning from it, in my online book "Falling Into The Sun!"

I was a Member of the LDS Church (aka "Mormon Church") from age 18 until age 35. I served a mission to California. All young Mormon men are expected to go on two year "missions". You're basically a door to door salesman, and your product: Mormonism. I resigned from the Church in 1996. Unlike most ex-Mormons, I did not became an atheist or agnostic after leaving Mormonism.I have a new religion, and I follow a Prophet of Lebanon, who died in 1984. My "testimony" of this Prophet and his religion is not based upon "feelings" but based upon very dramatic events in my life, which I shall describe below. I was NOT raised LDS. I was raised with no religion. Yet, I've always believed growing up that I knew Jesus in a previous life, and that Jesus was alive somewhere on Earth, reincarnated, working miracles, and I was supposed to find him. I believed that, strongly, until I joined the LDS Church when I was 18. While on a mission for the Church that "thought" would come up often, and attributed the thought to Satan.


My "Dream" in 1983 ("He is in New York City")

I joined the LDS Church at the age of 18, in 1979, and was called to serve a mission in 1983. Before my mission I fasted and prayed as to the return of Jesus, because older Mormons were telling me that Jesus would return "at or before the beginning of the seventh thousand years of the Earth's temporal existence, which means at or before the year 2000". That was the belief of most Mormons, especially older ones, in the early 1980s. They believed that planet Earth was only 6,000 years old, and that "there was no death" before Adam and Eve ate a fig, given to them by a talking snake. They believed that Jesus would come rule the planet for 1000 years; beginning at or around the year 2000. This was based upon what they were taught growing up, and upon the book Mormon Doctrine by Mormon apostle Bruce R. McConkie. This is what I was taught in Sunday School. That is what they told me. I was worried that I didn't have enough time to serve a mission, go to college, get married, and raise a family. So, I decide to fast and pray, to find out if they were right or not, concerning the second coming of Jesus.

During one evening I was fasting and praying, I had a dream/or out of body experience (not sure which) where I left my body, traveled toward the Moon, then "Fell" toward the Sun, entered the Sun, eventually met a being of light. I asked the being of light "When is Jesus coming again?" and was told "He is in New York City". Then I woke up, in a cold sweat. Very vivid "dream". I forget most of my dreams within a few minutes or seconds or waking up, but this dream was so vivid that it was like I had it last night. I remember all of it very vividly. This dream or OBE happened in July of 1983. During this time, the Prophet from Lebanon was living in New York City...I would discover this is 2005.

I remembered what the being/angel told me "He is in New York City" and I used to laugh or smirk about it while I was a missionary tracting (going door to door). I thought it was funny that I could have such an outrageous dream.


Writing "The Gainsayers"

We had a lot of trouble with anti-Mormon literature on my mission, and the anti-Mormon film "The God Makers" was being shown at many Evangelical churches. Evangelicals were slamming their doors on us, and a few of the "fanatics" among them (perhaps 5%) would spit on us, or slap us, or try to run out bikes off the road, or threaten to kill us. So, when I got home, I wrote "The Gainsayers" which was a reply to "The God Makers" film. The book ("The Gainsayers") was written in 1985, but it was not published until 1989. It became a favorite of missionaries serving in the U.S. in the 1990s; because the Church did not give them even "one minute" of instruction on how to "handle anti-Mormon questions". So, many Mormon missionaries in the 1990s bought my book and passed it around from one missionary to another. I sold my royalty rights to the book for $400 so I could fix my car.

Today, I realize that while 15% of "The God Makers" film were outrageous lies (some of which inspired the more "fanatical" Evangelicals to threats and even violence), 85% of what is found in "The God Makers" film and books is factual and true. Sad to say that, but that's the truth. The author of "The God Makers" (J. Edward Decker Jr.) was a con-man, and, as a Mormon, had ripped-off hundreds of Mormons in get-rich-quick schemes. He resigned before he could be excommunicated. But he found he could make a LOT OF MONEY preaching against the Mormon Church to Evangelical audiences. And he did. Some anti-Mormon professionals are con-men, no question about it. They are atheists who "pretend" to be Evangelicals, in order to make money: lots of it. However, there "are" honest anti-Mormons too such as Bill McKeever, Shawn McCraney, Lee Bishop (a former Bishop), Jeremy Runnells (former Mormon missionary and author of Letter to a CES Director), and some others. The most comprehensive, honest, and accurate "Anti-Mormon Book" you can ever read is Letter to a CES Letter by Jeremy Runnells: a former Mormon missionary. A link to his book is at the bottom of Part IV.

Let me say this again:Truth is not what we "want" to believe, but Truth is what "IS". TRUTH is the Red-Pill, not the Blue-Pill. Truth is Reality: not what we "want" Reality to be. Read the book by Jeremy Runnells, and you'll be taking the Red-Pill of Mormonism. Many already have.

As a Mormon studying anti-Mormon claims, I once prayed to God and asked Him: "Who is telling the Truth, the Church or the Anti-Mormons?" The answer I got was clear: "Both are liars". I rejected that at the time, because it did not make sense to me, but over the next 35 years, I discovered "that" was the TRUTH! Most Anti-Mormons lied, for money. Church leaders also lied....because they believed that was "for the good" of the Members. A way to keep them "faithful" (i.e. unquestioningly obedient to Church leaders).

Yes, some Anti-Mormons "lie" and some LIE a LOT! The God Makers films and books are filled with lies, half-truths, and distortions. My book The Gainsayer refuted many of those lies and distortions. However, just because some Anti-Mormons "lie" in order to get Christians to give them their money, that does NOT mean Mormonism is "True". Mormonism stands or falls upon Joseph Smith and his "claims". Where the ancient Americans really Jewish settlers? Did Joseph Smith accurately translate Egyptian papyrus into "The Book of Abraham"? Is "The Book of Mormon" an ancient Jewish document, or a product of men living in the 18th or 19th centuries? Was Brigham Young a true Prophet of God, or rather an opportunist and robber-baron? Are the current leaders of the Mormon Church "Prophets~Seers~Revelators"? If so, where are their prophecies, visions, and Revelations?

Mormonism stands or falls on the "claims" of Joseph 'Smith and other Mormon leaders. I have studied those Mormon Truth Claims for 35, pro and con, relying upon the evidence alone. Here is the only conclusion I could come up with that corresponds to known FACTS:

*The Book of Mormon cannot be ancient, but was rather written in the late 18th and early 19th century; mostly by a group of Rosicrucians in Pennsylvania.
*These Rosicrucians claimed to have the Priesthood of Melchizedek, and they called themselves the Zionitic Brotherhood.
*The Zionitic Brotherhood desired to establish the City of New Jerusalem on the American Continent, and one of them chose Joseph Smith Jr. to bring forth their book: the Book of Mormon, which was written as a parable about America.
*Sidney Rigdon and Oliver Cowdery wrote additional material for The Book of Mormon, and inserted it in, with Joseph Smith and Parley P. Pratt making minor contributions.
*Joseph Smith did not use the "Urim and Thummim" to translate Gold Plates, but rather he used his "seerstone" which he put into a hat, then Joseph Smith place his face over the hat, to block out the light.
*Martin Harris was excommunicated in 1836, because he claimed Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery were "drunk" during the translation process; some of which he witnessed. *The Angel Moroni was not a long-dead Nephite (nee-fight) but rather a old man who belonged to the Zionitic Brotherhood.
*Joseph Smith was chosen because some believed he was a Seer, and had he ability to "see" things others would not see.
*Joseph Smith had a reputation as a "Juggler" (con-man), and money-digger: telling farmers he would find buried treasure on their property if they paid him and his crew to dig.
*Joseph Smith clearly prophesied, twice, that the LORD would return in or about the year 1890.
*Joseph Smith's Temple Endowment Ceremony is clearly based upon the rites of Freemasonry.
*Joseph Smith was arrested twice for being a "Juggler" (con-man): the last time when he was 21 years old.
*American Indians are from Siberia and New Guinea, and have ZERO Jewish or Arabic DNA in them.
*Ancient America had no asses, no sheep, no oxen, no steel, no chariots; which the Nephites had in abundance during the 1000 years they allegedly lived in the America.
*Joseph Smith got his 16 year old nanny, Fanny Alger, pregnant, in 1835, and she named her son "Orrison Smith"
*Oliver Cowdery was excommunicated after telling others that Joseph Smith "had a dirty, filthy, nasty affair" with Fanny Alger.
*David Whitmer left the LDS Church in 1838, claiming the LORD verbally told him to do so, and that Joseph Smith had become a "fallen" prophet.
*Sidney Rigdon left the Church in 1845, claiming that Joseph Smith had become "a fallen Prophet" like King David.
*Joseph Smith denied he was a polygamist, which at that time he had 32 "secret" wives: 11 of whom were wives of men he sent on missions to England.
*Joseph Smith publicly declared polygamy to be "a false and damnable doctrine" while at the same time he secretly preached it to a select few Mormons, and had 32 "wives" the great majority of whom Emma Smith never consented to or knew about.
*Joseph Smith's "translation" of "The Book of Abraham" is considered "pure fiction" by non-Mormon Egyptologists, and the papyrus Joseph Smith claimed was "written by the hand of Abraham" is actually a pagan Egyptian funeral document written in the 1st century A.D.: 2000 years after Abraham died.
*Joseph Smith was arrested in June of 1844, because he illegally closed down "the Nauvoo Expositor" newspaper, printed by William Law (2nd Counselor in the First Presidency) which exposed Joseph Smith's secret polygamy (i.e. told the truth)
*Brigham Young was not a Prophet (he denied being such in General Conference), and he DID in fact teach the Adam-God Doctrine (Adam is our God, the father of our souls, and the father of Jesus' soul and body), and the Curse of Cain doctrine (black Africans the cursed children of Cain only meant to be servants of whites), he had horse thieves, counterfeiters, and government agents murdered by his secret police (sometimes called "Danites"), he tried to cover-up the Mountain Meadows Massacre (where Mormons, with the help of Piute Indians, murdered over 130 innocent men, women, and children on their way to California), he stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from the Tithing Office each year, he married young Mormon women barely 18 years old when he was in his seventies, he owned whiskey distilleries, a beer hall, and tobacco farms, he bought and sold to the Gentiles (non-mormons) while commanding Mormons to not do business with Gentiles, and he rented out some of his many homes in Salt Lake City as brothels (whore-houses).
*Mormon leaders have consistently changed and rewritten Mormon history, to suit their own beliefs, understandings, or whims, or in the interests of Public Affairs.
*The 1890 Manifesto by Wilford Woodruff did NOT end Church-authorized plural marriages (polygamy), and the "Second Manifesto" in 1904, did not end Church- athuorized plural marriage.
*The LDS Church is not, and never has been, the "fastest growing religion on Earth" but has a dismally slow yearly growth rate of about 1.4%: even with 80,000 full time missionaries.
*The list goes on.............

Read the online book, in pdf form, called "Letter to a CES Director" by Jeremy Runnells: a former Mormon missionary. That book is 100% honest and 100% accurate A link to that online book is in Part IV.

Do not be afraid of the Truth. Run after it, and embrace it.


The TRUTH About Mormonism

I wrote a book, in 1985, defending the Mormon Church against the anti-Mormon claims of "The God Makers" book and film. "The God Makers" is known as "bad" anti-Mormon literature; meaning it is filled with errors, half-truths, and some outrageous BIG LIES. Anti-Mormon literature and websites range from very accurate to very INaccurate, and everything in-between. Some Anti-Mormons are "con-men" pretending to be Christians, preaching against the Church in order to get Evangelical Christians to give them money. Some of these "con-men" Anti-Mormons have become quite rich this way. Some Anti-Mormons are sincere men and women who are Christians, or Atheists, who are honest, who believe the Church is false, and want others to know that.

Most Anti-Mormon Claims are True

After I wrote The Gainsayers I did years of research, tens of thousands of hours, to find Pro-Mormon Answers to all Anti-Mormon claims. I was hoping to publish this all in a large book titled The Book of Answers to Anti-Mormon Questions. I did many years, and tens of thousands of hours of research, in order to write that book. But, that book was never written. It was never published. Why not? Because of the following:

*Over time I discovered that MOST Anti-Mormon Claims were TRUE.

*Most Mormon Truth Claims cannot stand up to close scientific investigation.

*Regardless of whether some Anti-Mormon lies or exaggerate, THE TRUTH IS THIS:

Mormonism cannot stand up to scientific (history, biology, geology, archaeology, DNA, linguistics, etc.) "tests" of Mormon Truth Claims. Period. End of story!

True Believing Mormons (TBMs) who read this will say "Darrick is a liar" and "Darrick is a homosexual" and "Darrick is a pedophile" and "Darrick is an adulterer" and other things. They already have, many times. But "Darrick" is NONE of those things. I was a True Believing Mormon, a conservative Mormon. I wanted it all to be true. I sacrificed many years of my life in research to find answers to Anti-Mormon claims. I was DEVASTATED to discover the TRUTH about Mormonism. Absolutely _devastated_! Discovering the truth about Mormonism sent me into a tail-spin of many years of severe depression and denial. It was only when I went from "denial" to "acceptance" that I could find happiness again. And, I did.

The Google Problem

The Mormon Church is now experiencing a great decrease in Membership, mainly because Mormons are discovering Anti-Mormon Claims on the Internet. They are discovering information that challenges their "Faith". Many hundreds of thousands of Mormons have resigned from the Church since the Internet has become popular. Millions of Mormons have just "walked away" without bothering to resign. Ex-Mormon and Post-Mormon forums and organizations have been created centered on the Internet, as a result of some many leaving in the last few years. In Europe, the Church is shrinking rapidly: down by about 50% in just the last 20 years. In North America, the Church is maintaining, but got growing. The Church is only growing in areas where the population has no easy access to the Internet; such as in black Africa and among the poor in Latin America and the Philippines.

The "Google Problem" has spawned many Ex-Mormon websites and organizations like "Recovery from Mormonism", "Mormons in Transition", "Mormon Stories", "Mormon Expression", the "Ex-Mormon Foundation" , "Postmormons" and many other groups and websites. The most comprehensive website is MormonThink.com. Mormons who have resigned from the Church because of anti-Mormon information on the Internet include former Bishops, former Mission Presidents, former Stake Presidents, and a former Seventy Authority from Sweden (Hans P. Mattsson) whose story of his faith crisis and his leaving the Church was published on page one of The New York Times in 2013.

The Church is reducing the size of Stakes and Wards, in an effort to make it "appear" that the Church is still growing. In fact, in Europe the Church is shrinking rapidly. In North America the Church is not growing but only barely maintaining. The Church is shrinking in Japan, Australia, New Zealand, etc. The Church is only growing in Africa and among the poor of Latin America and the Philippines; people with no or very little access to the Internet.

What the Church is now experiencing has been called "The Google Problem". Mormons are finding out damning information about Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, The Book of Mormon, The Book of Abraham, Church History, etc., that they never had access to before. And the Church is now "bleeding" out rapidly, because of it.

Millions of Mormons are now going through a "Crisis of Faith" and most of them are who are in such a "Faith Crisis" are losing their faith in the Church; because of Anti-Mormon information they discover on the Internet. The Church has responded by publishing a number of "Essays" on LDS.org onlin called "Gospel Topic Essays" that try to defend the major Mormon Truth Claims. How is it working? It's too early to tell. But one thing we know: the Church is losing hundreds of thousands of active and believing Members each and every year due to "The Google Problem" (i.e. anti-Mormon information on the Internet).

Following the Facts

Nobody has done more "research" into Mormon Truth Claims and Anti-Mormon Claims than I have. I "wasted" my life doing this. I did this mainly to find answers to anti-Mormon claims, so that the Church would be defending, and those who are in a Crisis of Faith would have their faith in the Church strengthened. However, in the end, after many many years and tens of thousands of hours of research into anti-Mormon claims and pro-Mormon responses to those claims (Mormon Apologetics), I had to FOLLOW THE FACTS AND EVIDENCE. And the evidence is absolutely overwhelming!

Most TBMs (True Believing Mormons) won't read "Anti-Mormon" literature. They are told "All that stuff is from Satan" by their leaders, and they believe it! They never question their leaders. They believe they have "THE TRUTH" and they conclude, without doing any research at all, that 100% of Anti-Mormon Claims are "lies" and "of the Adversary" (Satan). As a Mormon missionary we had a saying: "A man convinced against his will...is of the same opinion still!" That applies to most people. That applies to most Mormons too.

If you want to know the TRUTH about Mormonism, then read Letter to a CES Director by Jeremy Runnells, online. There are FREE pdf versions of the book online, in numerous languages. I'll put a link to that booklet at the end of Part IV.

But I Have a Testimony!

True Believing Mormons (TBMs) will NOT believe the FACTS or the EVIDENCE against Mormon Truth Claims? Why? Because they view Truth as what they "want" to believe; not what "IS". They have a "testimony" from God that Joseph Smith was a True Prophet of God, and the LDS Church is the "One True Church" on the face of the Earth. But TRUTH is what "is"; not necessarily what we "want" to believe. TRUTH is Reality, and reality is not "subject" to our "wants" or "desires".

About 10,000 people have a "testimony" that Warren Jeffs ("Prophet" of the FLDS polygamist sect in Colorado City, Arizona) is a "Prophet of God". They will tell you they KNOW he is, and God revealed that to them! Yet, Mormons will tell you that Warren Jeffs is a "false prophet" and that his followers are "self-deluded". Followers of Warren Jeffs are just as SURE that Warren Jeffs is a true Prophet of God, as Mormons are SURE that Joseph Smith was, or Thomas S. Monson "is". They are just as "sure" that God told them that! They are just as dedicated. They are just as sincere! They are just as wrong!

Note: Warren Jeffs is the "Prophet" of the FLDS Church (polygamist). He is in prison in Texas because he "married" girls as young as 12 years old to himself and to his closest friends. He is serving life plus 20 years.

Truth is not determined by our "feelings". Truth is determined by the FACTS (i.e. Reality). No matter how "strong" a "testimony" is, that testimony can be contrary to the Truth (Reality). After spending many years trying to find pro-Mormon answers to anti-Mormon claims, I had to surrender to the Facts/Truth/Reality; because the facts and evidence were overwhelming and absolutely conclusive.

What are the FACTS concerning Joseph Smith and Mormonism? Read Letter to a CES Director by Jeremy Runnells (another former Mormon missionary), and you'll find out the reason why the Institute Director never wrote him back.

"I Have More Faith in A Shadow..."

There is a story that the famous explorer Ferdinant Magellen and a Catholic priest were chatting one evening, and they got into a discussion. Ferdinand told the Priest he was taking his ship around the globe. The Priest objected and told Ferdinand if he tried it, he would fall off the edge of the Earth and perish. The Priest said: "I believe that the Earth is flat, because the Church says so, and have faith in the Church!" Ferdinand looked up at the Moon, and saw the shadow on the Earth on the Moon, and said: "I can see the shadow of the Earth on the Moon, and it is round, so I believe the Earth is not flat but a round globe. I have more faith in a shadow than I do in the Church!"

"TRUTH" is not what we "want" to be true. "TRUTH" is what "IS".

If Daheshism is True...

The NOBLE SPIRITUAL FAITH (Daheshism) teaches that if Mormonism is false, that has absolutely no effect whatsoever on your Afterlife. You shall be punished and rewarding according to how you treat others who can feel joy and sorrow. You will NOT be judged on what church or religion you belong to, nor which doctrines you believe or do not believe. If a man believes the World is flat, and babies come from cabbage patches, yet he helps the widows and orphans, and helps his neighbor in time of need, he shall get a great reward on his Day of Judgment. However, should a man have all the knowledge in the Cosmos, yet if he mistreats others, deceives others, uses others for his own pleasure and gain, thereby causes others to suffer, then, on his Day of Judgment (his next mortal life), he will be born with punishments in body and mind, and shall suffer greatly for as many lifetimes as it takes to "pay the uttermost farthing".

Therefore, ultimately, if Daheshism is true, it does not matter if Joseph Smith was a fraud or a true Prophet of God. If Joseph Smith said "Be truthful and treat all others well" and you obey that, then YOU shall be rewarded; NOT because you obeyed Joseph Smith, but because you treated others well. You will not be tossed into Hell-fire for all eternity because you believed that Joseph Smith was a true Prophet or that the Nephites once roamed the Americas with their horses, chariots, cattle, oxen, donkies, sheep, domesticated goats, and steel swords and helmets. One "goes to Hell" because you have caused the suffering of others, and the Law of Karma is operative upon all things. If you cause suffering, then you shall suffer. If you show mercy to others, then mercy shall be shown unto you.

Stay in the Church "IF"...

If you are "happy" in the LDS Church, and find that you can lead a life filled with good works in it, then remain in it, and do good. But, if you are Seeker of Truth, and must have Truth no matter what the consequences, then read Jeremy's book, and then you will know the TRUTH about Joseph Smith and Mormonism.

The Law of Karma is BLIND

The Law of Karma does not care if we think the Earth is flat or round, or whether or not the Sun or the Earth is the center of our solar system, or whether we are Catholic, Protestant, Eastern Orthodox, Muslim, Jain, Sikh, Jew, Zoroastrian, Mormon, Atheist, Agnostic, or we worship a yellow dog. The Law of Karma is a Universal Force just like gravity is, and does NOT play "favorites". If we cause the suffering of others (mental or physical suffering), we shall bring suffering upon ourselves; either in this life or the next. If we show charity and mercy to others, we shall bring "good karma" to ourselves: either in this life or the next. Whether we believe in God or not is irrelevant. Whether we call ourselves a "Christian" or not is irrelevant. The Law of Karma is "blind" to our religion, or beliefs, or what "names" or titles we use for ourselves. The Law of Karma rewards us for our good deeds, and punishes us for our bad deeds. It is that simple. Our next mortal life is our Day of Judgment for our "actions" (karma) in this mortal life.

The Blood of Jesus

The blood of Jesus on the Cross does NOT "save" us from our own karma, nor does the blood of Jesus "wash" away our bad karma, nor does being a Christian prevent us from our Day of Judgment punishments for our evil actions in this life! What did the shed blood of Jesus on the Cross "do" for us? That will be explained to you, in full, in Part IV.

Most ex-Mormons Become Atheists or Agnostics

Most Mormons who leave the Church become Atheists or Agnostics. They think like this:

"The Church is false, and taught me lies since I was born. It's all lies! The Church taught me that God exists, so that must be a lie. The Church taught me that Jesus was the Son of God, so that too must be a lie. The Church taught me that there was an Afterlife, so that TOO must also be a lie...because the Church is a LIE and taught me nothing but lies!"

That's how most Ex-Mormons "think". Since the Church is BOGUS, everything the Church taught (i.e. God lives, Jesus lives, there is an Afterlife, etc.) must also be BOGUS. Since Mormonism is a Man-Made Religion, they reason, ALL religions must be also man-made religions. They assume this without studying all religions. That is what they now "want" to believe...so...they believe it! I never thought that way. I've had too many supernatural experiences to "think" in that manner. A full account of my paranormal experiences is found in my book FALLING INTO THE SUN! online (linked in Part IV.

A Daheshist Testimony

The "testimony" of a Daheshist is NOT based upon "feelings" or "burning in the bosom" or "having faith" in what a pope, or patriarch, or "Mormon Prophets" tells you is the truth. A Daheshist "testimony" is based upon our first-hand observations of supernatural miracles that appears before our natural eyes, in front of us, in broad daylight. Thousands of us still alive today, have witnessed these supernatural events with our own eyes.


"When Is Jesus Coming Back?"

WHEN MY MOTHER was pregnant with me, she had cancer. She, nor I, were expected to live. They gave her "experimental" cancer drugs, and they worked. My mother was very Agnostic. I once asked her "Do you believe in God?" She smiled and said: "No". I said: "Would it bother you if God did not exist?" And she said: "No". Yet, she told me many times, when she brought me home from the hospital, she laid me down in a crib in a room. She laid down on a bed next to the crib. The bedroom door was open. She got a "feeling" that someone was in the doorway, so she looked over, and she saw a large shining cross floating in the doorway. This was day time. The cross floated slowly into the room until it was over me as I lay in the crib. The cross then started to "wiggle" and as it wiggled it slowly disappeared. She swore to me this is what she saw. She was never a Christian. She never believed in Jesus. She was the most NON-religious person I ever knew. But, she swore to me that is what she saw the first day I was brought home.

I was born with Asperger's Syndrome. I'm an "Aspie". That means I have high-functioning Autism. In kindergarden I didn't play with other kids. They shunned me. I never shunned them. Like other kids with Autism, I was a Bully Magnet. Aspies are bullied throughout our lives. Growing up I was bullied every single day, often more than once a day. Bullies are Sociopaths who receive pleasure from causing the physical and/or emotional pain of others. Aspies are just the opposite; we are Empaths. We "feel" the pain of others. Bullies seek us out to "bully". I've been bullied everywhere I've lived, every school I attended, every Church I attended, and every job I have ever worked. Male sociopaths seek to harm us physically. Female sociopaths seek to harm us emotionally. The same thing happens in the animal kingdom. The Alpha wolf bullies the Omega wolf. The female wolves are raped by the Beta wolves, so, for revenge, they attack and punish the Omega wolf; who never did anything to hurt them. Human mammals are no different. Being an Aspie is not easy.

90% of people are "Normies". They are not Sociopaths nor Empaths. They can "sympathize" with the pain of others, but they don't actually "feel" others pain like Empaths do. Sociopaths generally leave Normies alone. Normies often say to Aspies/Empaths "Stop playing the victim!" Actually, we are NOT "playing" the victim. We ARE usually the "victim"; because Sociopaths seeks us out.

Bullies (male and female) don't bully Aspies because we have offended them, or tried to hurt them, or caused them some "wrong". Bullies bully Aspies because they are genetically inclined to do so, and it brings them intense pleasure.

People who are Aspies do not "think" like "Normies" (normal people). We don't get social clues. We don't understand hint, or innuendo, or body language. We use speech to communicate, instead of body language. On the other hand, we are very honest, very peaceful, very UNselfish, very altruistic, and very empathetic. We can "feel" the pain of others: physical or emotional. That's why I can't watch people getting hurt on YouTube, such as skateboarders breaking their legs or cracking their skulls, because I can actually "feel" their pain for a few seconds, and it hurts!

Other guys were interested in girls, cars, sports. I liked girls (being an Aspie...they didn't like me), but I just could NOT get interested in cars or sports. I wanted to know the mysteries of the Cosmos.

Aspies don't "do" anything to incur the wrath of billies. They just "bully" us because they "enjoy" doing so. It does not matter what we do or say. They are genetically inclined to intimidate us and cause us pain, and that is exactly what they do. I've been bullied by Christians, Mormons, Muslims, whites and blacks, people of every religion and no religion. I did nothing to "deserve" it. Sociopaths bully us NOT because we offended them, or hurt them, or tried to hurt them. Sociopaths bully us because they receive "pleasure" by doing so. Males hurt us physically. Females hurt us emotionally. They do so on purpose, and without provocation. They do so for the same reason some men "rape" women, or torture animals: because of the pleasure they receive by doing so.

Because I'm an Aspie, I've always been shunned by most other people. So, we withdraw into ourselves. We become loners. We have no choice. Normies shun us. We don't shun them. They shun us. So, either we have other Aspies as our friends, or we learn to be alone in our own world. For us, trying to make friends, and be sociable, can be dangerous: literally.

Sociopaths (bullies) and Empaths (Aspies) are "natural enemies" as it says in the Bible:

"The righteous hate the wicked, and the wicked hate the righteous." (Proverbs 29:28 Good News Translation)

I was raised with no religion. My mother was Agnostic, and my father believed in reincarnation. But my father was not a "religious" man either; unless you consider "drinking and gambling" to be a religion. His addictions were his "gods" and he worshipped them like a Zealot. Yet, he taught me reincarnation, and that is what I believed growing up.

I had a Near Death Experience (NDE) when I was 11 years old. I died and left my body only29: for maybe 20 seconds. Since that time, Since that time, I have had Paranormal Experiences. I have seen and heard ghosts numerous times. Other strange experiences. Since that time, I had the "thought" in my brain, that I knew Jesus when He was alive, and that Jesus had reincarnated, and was a Man of Miracles, and lived somewhere on planet Earth, the same time I was living, and I was supposed to "find" Him. I had that "thought every since I could remember. That is perhaps one reason why I was always obsessed with the study of religion, and why I found myself in the library instead of doing things other young men did. I was supposed to "find" Jesus, Who had a different name, and was somewhere on Earth, but I didn't know where to look. So, I looked in books. There was no Internet when I was a young man; so I had to look in books in libraries.

In January of 1977, at the age of 16, I had the overwhelming "urge" to visit the Los Angeles Zoo, on a cold overcast day. There, I saw a group of men speaking Arabic. I approached them to see if I could recognize their language as Hebrew or Arabic. A bald stocky man came out of the men's room, and our eyes met, briefly. He quickly walked over to the other men, about 8 or them, and pointed directly at ME! There was nobody near me, and nobody behind me. He YELLED something in Arabic, as He pointed at me. The other men rushed over and surrounded Him, as they looked alternately at me, then Him, at me again, at Him again, etc. They had looks of amazement and perplexity on their faces.

I was SCARED! I had no idea who this bald Arab man was, nor why He was yelling and pointing directly at me. I felt like running, but, instead, I walked very fast. I got on the the next bus, and headed home. It was not until the year 2005 that I first read the name "Doctor Dahesh". It was not until the year 2015, when I first read that Dr Dahesh went to the Los Angeles Zoo, with a small group of Lebanese Daheshists, in January of 1977.

The bald Arabic-speaking Man pointing at ME and yelling was Doctor Dahesh! In some mystical way, "HE" brought me to the Zoo that cold January day in 1977. Why? To warn the Daheshists about me? What did He yell in Arabic? I have no idea. To this day, I don't speak Arabic.

In 1983, Dr. Dahesh was still alive, and living in New York City.

By July, 1983, I was a Mormon, and "called to the California San Jose Mission for 18 months. I heard in Mormon Sunday School, that Jesus was supposed to return before the year 2000. The Sunday School teacher was raised to believe that the Earth had only "6,000 years of temporal existence". Adam was created about 4000 B.C. Therefore, the year 2000, give or take a few years, had to be the beginning of the Millennium: the time Jesus would return, sitting or standing upon a cloud in the sky, with thousands of angels blowing trumpets.

Most Mormons under the age of 50 today, don't realize that in the late 1970s and 1980s, most Mormons fully expected Jesus to return by the year 2000. The most popular Mormon books they read, by Bruce R. McConkie (a Mormon apostle) and Cleon Skousen (a popular Mormon writer and speaker) both taught that, and Mormons believed them. The Church commanded them to store "A year's supply" of food, water, batteries, etc., for the seven years of Tribulation that would come right before Jesus returned. They never questioned it: Jesus would coming back 6,000 years after Adam bit into a fig, given to him by Eve, given to her by Lucifer in the form of a taking snake. Mormons went out and bought barrels of wheat, powdered milk, and freeze dried food, batteries, kerosene for cooking and warmth. They didn't doubt it for a second: Jesus was coming back by the year 2,000, so we have to prepare for it. At the time Mormons believed that the "Living Prophet" (President of the Church) would "call home" all missionaries, and then the Mormons would build hand-carts, Jackson County Missouri would be "wiped clean" of all inhabitants do to natural and man-made disasters, and the Mormons would walk back to "Zion" (Jackson County, Missouri) with their belongings in their hand-carts, and build the City of New Jerusalem. Once that City was built, Jesus would descend from the sky, on a cloud, and "rule" from the New Jerusalem Temple.

The Mormons came to Utah in the 1840s from Nauvoo, Illinois, in handcart companies. So, naturally, they thought they would go to "Zion" (Jackson County, Missouri) via handcarts. Joseph Smith declared Jackson County "Zion" in 1835: the place where the City of New Jerusalem would be built, and when Jesus returned, He would rule from that City which the Mormons will build after Jackson County is "wiped clean" of all the swearing red-neck tobacco chewing Gentile (non-mormon) residents. In the early 1980s, most (90%) Mormons still believed that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri, that Adam was the first man, that Eve was made from one of his ribs (ouch!), that Cain was turned into the first "Negro" and his white sister he married was turned into the second "Negro", that the Gulf of Mexico was the whole left after God took the City of Enoch up into heaven, the American Indians were the pure descendants of Lehi (Lee-High) the Jew and Ishmael the Arab, that God the Father is an Exalted White Man who had literal physical "sex" with Mary to produce the body of Jesus, and that faithful Mormons would become "Gods" and "Goddesses" who would create their own planets and people those planets with their own spirit-children. Many older Mormons still believe all that.

In the Missionary Training Center (MTC) in Provo, Utah, in July 1983, we were told that we "might" be the "final group of missionaries" to be sent out by the Church, before the Living Prophet "called us all home" to start eating our freeze-dried food and to start building our hand-carts.

This concerned me greatly. Would I have enough "time" to go on a mission, then go to college for four years, then get married, and raise children, before the Great and Dreadful Day of the LORD; which, back in 1983, most Mormons expected on or a little before the year 2000. So, I fasted and prayed. I fell asleep. I had a dream where I left my body, and flew towards the Moon. I was jerked away, and headed for the Sun. I still remember seeing the "angry" flames of the surface of the Sun. I was not harmed. I came out the other side, and noticed "Suns revolving around a central white Sun. I approached fast. A "being of light" got in my way. He was glorious, but did NOT look like Jesus. No, he did not have wings. I got the sense, perhaps via telepathy, that he was not Jesus, and not the Creator, but a being "in charge" of this solar system, like a Guardian, and he lived in the Sun. I asked "When is Jesus coming back?" He opened his mouth and said something I could not understand, but, in my mind, he said "He's in New York City".

I awoke from my dream in a cold sweat. The next day, I had an OVERWHELMING URGE to go to New York city. I told my Dad: "Would you like to go to New York City?" He smiled and said: "Oh, I wouldn't mind it!" He was retired by then, on disability. He would have gone. He loved road trips. I had the overwhelming "URGE" to go to New York City. But, I talked myself out of it. Wasn't easy. After all, I was called on a mission for the Mormon Church, and my bishop was paying for it all. I could not disappoint him. I still believed in Mormonism. So, I concluded my dream was just a very strange lucid dream, and soon I left for the Missionary Training Center, in Provo, Utah: right next to Brigham Young University.

I had some pretty bazaar experiences as a Mormon missionary! Paranormal experiences. You can read about that in FALLING INTO THE SUN! which is linked in Part Three. But, please read The Prophet of Lebanon first.

I resigned from the Mormon Church in 1996. I give my reasons, in great detail, in FALLING INTO THE SUN! which is linked in Part IV. I am not gay, not bisexual, was never a Liberal "Sunstone" Mormon, not a pedophile. I did not leave the Church because I wanted to drink, or smoke, or commit adultery or fornication. I have never smoked anything (I am HIGHLY allergic to nicotine and cannabis). I got drunk twice when I was 14, never touched alcohol again, and I have NEVER committed adultery nor fornication. I explain why I resigned from the Church in the onlilne free book: FALLING INTO THE SUN! which is linked in Part IV.

After leaving the Mormon Church I studied many religions, all that I could find, thousands of them. I became a Baha'i for several years, but resigned from that Faith too. I was never excommunicated from anything.

In 2005, I discovered "Doctor Dahesh" for the first time, while reading a book in a public library in Lakewood, Washington State. I contacted the aheshists, and they sent me a book: Lights Upon Dr. Dahesh and Daheshism by Dr. Ghazi Brax. The book contains mosly first-hand eye-witness accounts of people who saw Dr. Dahesh perform supernatural miracles.

I didn't want to be "fooled" again. I didn't want another experience that I had with Mormonism. So I prayed, and I meditated, and I said: "Dr. Dahesh, if you are real, you are Jesus, and Jesus showed Himself to Thomas after His death, and I need you to do the same for me!" I was not willing to commit myself to a new Faith, only to have my faith shattered to pieces years later.

Nothing happened for about two weeks. Then, one afternoon, during a lightening storm (very rare for the Tacoma area), Dr. Dahesh visited me, and sat on the corner of my bed. This was the afternoon. I was wide awake.

In 2005, Dr. Dahesh (Who died in New York City in 1984) came to visit me, during a lightening storm, in Lakewood (near Tacoma), Washington State. I was fully awake at the time, and alone in my house. It was in the afternoon. I recount that event in Part II.

Continued in Part II

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