Why I Left The Mormon Church and Became a Daheshist

by Darrick T. Evenson

"And he shall be called Wonderful Counselor,...." (Isaiah 9:6)
Left: Doctor Dahesh (on a trip to India, 1983)
Sections 0~15| 20 minute read-time

< To the Honest Seeker of Truth...this brief article (20 minute read-time) is going to be the most important thing you've ever read or ever will read! The events described in this article are beyond belief, but all true.

MY NAME IS Darrick Evenson. I was born in 1960, in Los Angeles, California. I was raised in Santa Monica, Palm Springs, and Redwoord City, California. I was a Mormon from the ages of 18 to 35. I joined the LDS Church in 1979 when I was 18 years old. I officially resigned from it in 1996. I was only active for 8 years, and, half of that time, I was really "semi-active"; although I'd go to Church every Sunday, I kept no callings. Yet, I remained a True Believing Mormon (TBM) from 1979 until 1989. I was never a "Sunstone" (Liberal) Mormon. I believed that Joseph Smith was a Prophet, and that the Presidents of the Church were "Living Prophets". I believed that in General Conference, they spoke as if Jesus was speaking Himself. That is what I was taught, and that is what I believed.

I served an honorable mission to San Jose and San Francisco California (California San Jose Mission 1983-85). I have never violated the Word of Wisdom. I have never committed fornication, nor adultery, nor homosexuality. I am heterosexual. I was never excommunicated. I resigned from the Church in 1996. I went fully inactive in 1989, but did not resign until 1996. I did "try" to come back to the Church several times, but those attempts never "stuck". I knew too much. I never officially requested rebaptism. By the time I'd been a Mormon for 8 years I KNEW that "all was NOT well" in Zion, and, at one time, very naively, I thought I could "clean up" the Church. I was very naive. You can read about that in my online book: Falling Into The Sun!. A link to that online book is below.

In this "20 minute read-time account" and in my online book (Falling Into The Sun!...takes 90 minutes to read) I give many accounts of the paranormal and supernatural. These are things that I truly saw and heard and witnessed! I am NOT LYING about any event I describe. Whether these were true visions, or hallucinations that my own mind created, what I write in these accounts is what I truly saw and heard. A few supernatural accounts are below, but my online book contains many of them. I'd had many supernatural events (or "hallucinations" take your pick) since I was 11 years old, when I had a Near-Death Experience.

I am now a Daheshist, a follower of Doctor Dahesh, the miracle-working Prophet of Lebanon.

Doctor Dahesh (1909-1984) was the miracle-working Prophet of Lebanon. The name "Doctor Dahesh" is as well-known in Lebanon as the name "Abraham Lincoln" is well-known in the United States. The Lebanese consider Him to be either a Prophet, or a miracle-working Saint, or a evil Black Magician, or the greatest illusionist (magician) of all time. He was the most prolific worker of supernatural miracles of all time. A full account of His supernatural miracles are found in "The Daheshist Chronicles"; a series of 13 volumes, about 300 pages each, written in Arabic. The followers of Doctor Dahesh, the Daheshists, believe that He was the incarnation of the Christ-Spirit for the 20th century. More incarnations will come. Another is expected to arise in the 21st century.


The Four and Twenty Elders

The ancient Nazoreans (a sect of Jewish Christians who lived in Palestine in the first century A.D.) believed that Jesus was a Sinless Prophet "in" Whom the Christ-Spirit (Holy Spirit) dwelt, from His baptism in the Jordan River to the Cross, and this Christ-Spirit left Jesus on the Cross: which is why Jesus cried: "My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?" The Nazoreans were later declared "heretics" by the Catholic Church: which changed Jesus from being "the Son of God" into "God the Son". Daheshists believe that same Christ-Spirit will also overshadow 23 other Sinless Prophets, Who will be born of women, one per century, from the 1st century to the 24th century. We call them the 24 Sinless Prophets.

Some early Christians did believe in reincarnation, as is taught in The Wisdom of Solomon (part of the original New Testament), and in the Secret Book of John. The Christian School of Alexandria, Egypt, founded by St. John Mark (author of the Gospel According to Mark), taught reincarnation. This doctrine was not condemned until the 4th century, when the Roman Emperor Justinian who, using threats and bribes, convinced the assembled Bishops to vote down the doctrine. Christians say that reincarnation is condemned in Hebrews 9:27 ("It is appointed for man to die one time, and then the judgment"), but all Bible scholars know that Hebrews was not written by the Apostle Paul, but by Hermas, the brother of a bishop of Rome, about 150 A.D. It was later "voted into" the New Testament. Daheshists believe the Words of Jesus, when He said:

"This soul needs to follow another soul in whom the Spirit of life dwells, because she is saved through the Spirit. Then she will never be thrust into flesh again." (Secret Book of John 14:20)

The Christians in Egypt, of the first four centuries, believed that The Secret Book of John contained the actual words of Jesus. It was part of their New Testament canon. Only later was it declared "heretical" by a Church Council; dominated by the Emperor Justinian, who used bribes and threats to condemn the doctrine of reincarnation, and to declare "heretical" the Secret Book of John and also The Wisdom of Solomon which declared:

"I was given a healthy body (at birth) to live in, because I was already good." (Wisdom of Solomon 8:19~20)

Daheshists would agree that "it is appointed for man to die one time, and then the judgment" (Hebrews 9:27); since, after our current life we are "judged" according to our actions (not our beliefs), and our next mortal life is our "Day of Judgment" for the things we did in this life. We dwell in the Kingdom of Hell-fire, where the Suns "burn" and ages our skin, and where demons (sociopaths) torment us, and where we drink the boiling water of birth, and the ice-cold water of death. We are stranded for eternity on the Wheel of Rebirth, in an endless series of lives and deaths, and our current life is our Day of Judgment for our last life, and our next life will be our Day of Judgment for our current life, and this endless cycle of lives/deaths/judgments in the Kingdom of Hell-fire will continue, until we decide to walk the Straight and Narrow Path that leads to Eternal Life on the Heavenly Planets; where the rays of the Suns does not damage or age our skins, and where there is no famine, or ageing, or violence, or injustice, or disease, or deformity, or death.

"Salvation" then, means to escape from the Kingdom of Hell-fire, to be "liberated" from the endless Wheel of Rebirth, and be "born again" into the Kingdom of Heaven.

In the Book of Revelations (Apocalypse) John, the Apostle of Jesus Christ, has a vision. In the vision he sees a Slain Lamb on a Throne, surrounded by seven candlesticks, four "beasts" with six wings, covered with eyes, and around them are 24 thrones. On the 24 thrones are "four and twenty elders" who wear crowns. They toss their crowns off and worship the Slain Lamb Who sits on the Throne.

Revelation chapter 5

One of these 24 Elders was Giordano Bruno, a "heretical" Catholic priest who lived in Italy in the 16th century. He taught reincarnation, and that the Sun was the center of this system, and the fixed stars were Suns in the centers of their own systems, round which planets revolved. This was contrary to the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church: which taught reincarnation was false, and that the Earth was the center of the Cosmos, round which the Sun, Moon, planets, and all the stars of the heavens revolved. It was said Bruno also worked miracles. Because of His "heresies" He was burned at the stake by the Inquisition in the year 1600. Many Christian "heretical sects" believed in reincarnation during the Middle Ages. If they were caught, they were tortured, then burned alive: all in the Name of Jesus. The 24 Sinless Prophets are the real Vicars (Deputies) of Christ. The Christ-Spirit (Logos) lives in them, and speaks and acts through them. That is why they have superhuman knowledge and abilities. But they are subject to death and injury, just like all humans are.

The followers of Doctor Dahesh believe that he is Number 20 of these 24 Elders. One "Elder" appears every century, from the 1st century to the 24th century, and Dahesh is "Number 20". These are the true Deputies of Christ. They are not Popes. They are not Patriarchs. They are not theologians. They are 24 Sinless Prophets; workers of supernatural miracles. You've never heard of most of them, but they are the Regents of Christ on Earth. The Christ- Spirit overshadows these men and speaks and acts through them. Dahesh was Elder Number 20 (for the 20th century). Elder Number 21 is due shortly.

The 24 Elders are the 24 Sinless Prophets, starting in the 1st century, and concluding in the 24th century. The Christ-Spirit "dwells" in all of these 24 Sinless Prophets

The Man called "Jesus Christ" was a Sinless Prophet in Whom the Christ-Spirit dwelt. That is what the Disciples of Jesus believed. That is what earliest Christians (Nazoreans) believed. That is what Daheshists believe. The Bible nowhere says that Jesus will only come "two" times. The words "Second Coming" and "Second Advent" does not appear anywhere in the New Testament. The Apostle John has a vision on the Island of Patmos, off the coast of Turkey, where he "sees" the Throne of God, and "four and twenty elders" sitting around the Throne, wearing crowns. These 24 Elders are the 24 Sinless Prophets.

The 24 Sinless Prophets are the true Vicars (Deputies) of Christ; not the Popes, not the Patriarchs, not the "Living Prophets" of the Mormon Church. Not the "Governing Body" of Jehovah's Witnesses. These Men are the Regents of Christ on Earth. The Christ-Spirit speaks and acts through these Sinless Prophets. The First was Jesus of Nazareth. The Last will come in the 24th century (2300s). The 20th Sinless Prophet was Salim Moosa Awshee (Salim Mousa Achi) of Lebanon, Who was born in Jerusalem in 1909, on the Mount of Olives, and died in New York City in April of 1984. He was known as "Doctor Dahesh".

You don't know it yet... but this is going to be the most important thing you will ever read!


Doctor Dahesh ("Wonderful Counselor")

Doctor Dahesh was born in Jerusalem in 1909, with the birth name of Salim Moosa Achi (aw-shee); the son of Assyrian Christians from Mosul, Iraq. They were members of the Alishiyah clan, a clan of Christians who traced their ancestry back to the Prophets Elijah and Elisha. Starting at the age of one year, Salim would work supernatural miracles. He grew up in Bethlehem (Summer months) and Beirut, Lebanon. He spent most of his adult life in Beirut. In 1975, he left Beirut at the beginning of the Lebanese Civil War, and came to New York City. He spent the last 9 years of his life in New York City; although he traveled widely. In 1930 he took the pen name of "Doctor Dahesh" which in Assyrian means "Teacher of Astonishment" or "Wonderful Counselor". He became quite famous in Lebanon as a worker of miracles. Some thought he was the greatest magician of all time. He healed the sick, raised the dead, cast out evil spirits, and caused inanimate objects to become animate. His miracles are in the thousands. Witnesses to his miracles are in the thousands, with hundreds still alive today.

Doctor Dahesh wrote 150 books, including five Books of Revelation. He never married. He lived a celibate life. He never claimed to be a medical doctor. The title "Duktur" in Assyrian, and Arabic, is a title of honor, like an honored teacher. He taught reincarnation, and that the Law of Karma is active upon all things: animate and inanimate. He taught that Jesus could come "twenty centuries" after He was born of Mary; that He would come to the village of Nazareth. The advent of the 21st Elder is due soon.

Hundreds of people are still alive today who eye-witnessed the miracles of Doctor Dahesh, and many of them wrote books or told what they saw in Lebanese and Egyptian newspapers. A full account of the supernatural miracles of Doctor Dahesh is found in "The Dahesh Chronicles"; a series of 13 volumes, 300 pages each, in the Arabic language.

Doctor Dahesh performed thousands of supernatural miracles. Hundreds of people, Daheshist and non-Daheshist alike, testified in first-hand eye-witness accounts of observing one or more of these supernatural miracles; in books or in Lebanese newspaper articles. He founded his own religion in 1943 called "The Noble Spiritual Faith". He taught his disciples to work miracles of healing through something called the "Raamz Rite"; which consists of writing a prayer in Arabic, in a very specific way, burning it, and using the ashes to heal with. Many have claimed instant miraculous healings via the Raamz.

In 1984, Doctor Dahesh died in New York City, at the age of 75. There are about 2,000 Daheshists in the world today: mostly in Beirut, Lebanon, and in and around New York City. The Noble Spiritual Faith is not yet organized, and cannot be, until The Book of Daheshism, by the late Dr. Ghazi Brax (the Apostle of Dr. Dahesh who died in 2014), is published. We do not know when that will be.

Daheshism teaches that we are not "saved" by going to Church, or belonging to any particular religion or church or caste. We are "judged" solely by our "actions" toward other living beings, and by nothing else. Our next moral life is our Day of Judgment for our previous mortal life.


Out of Body (OBE)

When I was 11, in 1972, living in Redwood City, California, I had an OBE (out of body experience), when I had a very bad fever. In great pain. My mom wanted to take me to the emergency room, but I dad refused saying I'd "be fine". In those days (1972), people without insurance or up-front money were often turned away from hospitals I remember not being to able to breathe, and then, suddenly, I found myself floating above my body. I looked down, and saw myself. I was fatter than I had thought. Also, my hair was really messed up, and I had a look of PAIN on my face, which was frozen. I wasn't moving. I remember I was wearing a t-shirt with brown horizontal stripes, and it had a root-beer stain from the day before. I started floating up, back first, toward the ceiling and i started going through the ceiling. I then realized that I had died, but I remember yelling: "No, I'm not ready to go yet!" At that point, I felt a "WHOOSH" and I was sent down back to my body. Back to the pain. Since that time, I've had what some people call ESP and also I've had at least two other OBEs (out of body experiences). I've seen ghosts/shadow people numerous times. I've had prophetic dreams that came true. I've had many "paranormal" experiences; a few of which you'll read about here. Many people who have had NDEs have said the same thing: that after their NDE the "veil" between this Seen World and the Unseen World had become "thin".


Trip to the LA Zoo

I was not raised in any religion, but my Dad believed in reincarnation. A "thought" was always in the back of my head: that Jesus had reincarnated, was living as a man somewhere in the world, with a new name, and I knew him when he was Jesus, and I was supposed to find Him. I had that "thought" ever since I could remember. One day, when I was 16 years old, and living in Santa Monica, California, next to Los Angeles, in January, 1977, I had the overwhelming urge to visit the L.A. Zoo. So, I got on a bus and went to the zoo. The trip took about three hours, because I had to transfer buses twice. I had no car at 16. I lived on the west side of LA. The zoo is north of downtown Los Angeles by about five or six miles, in Griffith Park. At the zoo I saw a group of men speaking Arabic, and this made me curious, so I approached them, and one of them, a bald man of about 60, looked at me and our eyes met, and almost ran over to the others with Arabic speaking men, and he SHOUTED something to the other men, while pointing directly at me. Yelled it...loudly! As he pointed right at me. This scared me, and I walked away as fast as I could. That Man was, I would later find out, a Prophet from Lebanon, and I wound learn much much later in life, a Prophet whose disciples believed he was Jesus reincarnated.


Joined the LDS Church

When I was 18 years old I join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: commonly known as "the Mormon Church". Mormons refer to it as "The LDS Church" or simply "The Church". I explain my reasons for joining the Church, and later resigning from it, in my online book "Falling Into The Sun!"

I was a Member of the LDS Church (aka "Mormon Church") from age 18 until age 35. I served a mission to California. All young Mormon men are expected to go on two year "missions". You're basically a door to door salesman, and your product: Mormonism. I resigned from the Church in 1996. Unlike most ex-Mormons, I did not became an atheist or agnostic after leaving Mormonism.I have a new religion, and I follow a Prophet of Lebanon, who died in 1984. My "testimony" of this Prophet and his religion is not based upon "feelings" but based upon very dramatic events in my life, which I shall describe below. I was NOT raised LDS. I was raised with no religion. Yet, I've always believed growing up that I knew Jesus in a previous life, and that Jesus was alive somewhere on Earth, reincarnated, working miracles, and I was supposed to find him. I believed that, strongly, until I joined the LDS Church when I was 18. While on a mission for the Church that "thought" would come up often, and attributed the thought to Satan.


My "Dream" in 1983 ("He is in New York City")

I joined the LDS Church at the age of 18, in 1979, and was called to serve a mission in 1983. Before my mission I fasted and prayed as to the return of Jesus, because older Mormons were telling me that Jesus would return "at or before the beginning of the seventh thousand years of the Earth's temporal existence, which means at or before the year 2000". That was the belief of most Mormons, especially older ones, in the early 1980s. They believed that planet Earth was only 6,000 years old, and that "there was no death" before Adam and Eve ate a fig, given to them by a talking snake. They believed that Jesus would come rule the planet for 1000 years; beginning at or around the year 2000. This was based upon what they were taught growing up, and upon the book Mormon Doctrine by Mormon apostle Bruce R. McConkie. This is what I was taught in Sunday School. That is what they told me. I was worried that I didn't have enough time to serve a mission, go to college, get married, and raise a family. So, I decide to fast and pray, to find out if they were right or not, concerning the second coming of Jesus.

During one evening I was fasting and praying, I had a dream/or out of body experience (not sure which) where I left my body, traveled toward the Moon, then "Fell" toward the Sun, entered the Sun, eventually met a being of light. I asked the being of light "When is Jesus coming again?" and was told "He is in New York City". Then I woke up, in a cold sweat. Very vivid "dream". I forget most of my dreams within a few minutes or seconds or waking up, but this dream was so vivid that it was like I had it last night. I remember all of it very vividly. This dream or OBE happened in July of 1983. During this time, the Prophet from Lebanon was living in New York City...I would discover this is 2005.

I remembered what the being/angel told me "He is in New York City" and I used to laugh or smirk about it while I was a missionary tracting (going door to door). I thought it was funny that I could have such an outrageous dream.


Writing "The Gainsayers"

We had a lot of trouble with anti-Mormon literature on my mission, and the anti-Mormon film "The God Makers" was being shown at many Evangelical churches. Evangelicals were slamming their doors on us, and a few of the "fanatics" among them (perhaps 5%) would spit on us, or slap us, or try to run out bikes off the road, or threaten to kill us. So, when I got home, I wrote "The Gainsayers" which was a reply to "The God Makers" film. The book ("The Gainsayers") was written in 1985, but it was not published until 1989. It became a favorite of missionaries serving in the U.S. in the 1990s; because the Church did not give them even "one minute" of instruction on how to "handle anti-Mormon questions". So, many Mormon missionaries in the 1990s bought my book and passed it around from one missionary to another. I sold my royalty rights to the book for $400 so I could fix my car.

Today, I realize that while 15% of "The God Makers" film were outrageous lies (some of which inspired the more "fanatical" Evangelicals to threats and even violence), 85% of what is found in "The God Makers" film and books is factual and true. Sad to say that, but that's the truth. The author of "The God Makers" (J. Edward Decker Jr.) was a con-man, and, as a Mormon, had ripped-off hundreds of Mormons in get-rich-quick schemes. He resigned before he could be excommunicated. But he found he could make a LOT OF MONEY preaching against the Mormon Church to Evangelical audiences. And he did. Some anti-Mormon professionals are con-men, no question about it. They are atheists who "pretend" to be Evangelicals, in order to make money: lots of it. However, there "are" honest anti-Mormons too such as Bill McKeever, Shawn McCraney, and some others.

Let me state this again: about 5% of fundamentalist Muslims are "fanatics" and will threaten others or even commit violence in the name of God. About 5% of Evangelicals (fundamentalist Christians) are fanatics, and will threaten or even commit violence in the name of Jesus. Mormon missionaries are spit upon, threatened, have their bikes run off the road, and are sometimes "beaten" by the "fanatical" Evangelicals. Tens of thousands of former Mormon missionaries will "testify" of this if you ask them: especially those who went on missions to the Bible Belt (American South and lower Mid-West). As a Mormon missionary we were spat upon several times, assaulted, several men tried to run us off the road, and I was physically assaulted once. We were threatened with death frequently: all by men (usually large men) who called themselves Bible-believing "born again Christians".

As a Mormon studying anti-Mormon claims, I once prayed to God and asked Him: "Who is telling the Truth, the Church or the Anti-Mormons?" The answer I got was clear: "Both are liars". I rejected that at the time, because it did not make sense to me, but over the next 35 years, I discovered "that" was the TRUTH! Most Anti-Mormons lied, for money. Church leaders also lied....because they believed that was "for the good" of the Members. A way to keep them "faithful" (i.e. unquestioningly obedient to Church leaders).


Letter to a CES Director by Jeremy Runnells

I was once a TBM (True-Believing Mormon). Like all TBMs, I believed the following:

*The Brethren (Mormon Presidents and Apostles) were the closest men to God on Earth.

*The Brethren would NEVER ever "think" about lying to the Members.

That is what I believed as a TBM. That is what every TBM believes. But...that is NOT the truth! The TRUTH is this:

*The Brethren will "lie" and "with-hold information" if they think it is "for the good of the Members". This has been "documented" that they have done this hundreds upon hundreds of times. Many people call this "Lying for the Lord". The Brethren believe they are doing this "for the good of the Members"; to protect them from information that will hurt their testimonies.

*The Brethren claim to be Prophets-Seers-Revelators, but in fact they do NOT "prophesy" nor do they "see" supernatural visions, nor do they receive Thus Saith the Lord "Revelation". They are "prophets-seers-revelators" in NAME ONLY! They know this. This is why when journalists ask them "Have you seen Christ?" and other such questions, the Brethren DO NOT ANSWER THEM but change the subject or answer is a very "obscure" way. This is because they know they are not Prophets, Seers, or Revelators. They know that. But they won't tell the Members that, fearing it would "harm the Members". They are keeping THE TRUTH from you, out of their love and concern for you. The Truth would only "hurt" you, and they don't want you to be "hurt".

If you want to see "documents" that prove that the Brethren have been deceitful with the Members, then get a copy of the book Letter to a CES Director by Jeremy Runnells (a former Mormon missionary). A pdf file of the book is online in the links below. You can also order a copy of the book for a little as $10 via the link at the bottom of this page. The "evidence" is all there! If you cannot afford to buy the book, then read the free online pdf file of the book. Free online in English, or Spanish, or Swedish, or Russian, or Finnish, or Portuguese, or Japanese. A link to the book and the free pdf files are in the links at the bottom of this page. The "evidence" is all there. You can either ignore the FACTS, or "deal" with the facts. It's all up to you. Don't be afraid of the TRUTH.

Jeremy Runnells served a mission (to the deaf) in New York City. He wrote a letter to a Mormon Institute of Religion. These are men (and some women) who are trained in Mormon history and theology (Mormon bishops are not). They work for the Church Educational System (CES). Jeremy read Anti-Mormon claims on the Internet, and wanted "answers" to them, so he could help his brother, who was leaving the Church. Mormon Bishops don't have such "answers". They just tell you: "Don't worry about it!" So, Jeremy wrote to a Director of an LDS (Mormon) Institute of Religion. These men are full-time employees of the Church. They are, roughly, the equivalent of a Professor of Theology in a Protestant seminary. Anyway, Jeremy wrote a bunch of questions, year ago, but the CES Director (Institute of Religion director) never wrote back. Jeremy finally concluded that there are no answers to his questions. He left the Church, and wrote Letter to a CES Director.

I myself (Darrick Evenson) research Anti-Mormon questions for 15 years until I finally resigned from the Church. My research only confirmed most Anti-Mormon claims. Of course, some professional Anti-Mormons are con-men, who will say anything to get Evangelical Christians to give them their money. However, again, Mormon Truth Claims and Anti-Mormon Claims are not decided by personalities, but by FACTS. And the FACTS are clear: Mormonism is a MAN-MADE religion:

*The Book of Mormon is not ancient history.
*The Nephites never existed.
*The Lamanites (American Indians) have no (zero) Jewish or Arabic DNA.
*The Book of Abraham is NOT a translation of the Egyptian papyrus that Joseph Smith possessed.
*Joseph Smith told farmers that he could see buried pirate treasure on their farms, with his "peepstone", and he charged them money for him and his crew to dig for this buried treasure, but no treasure was ever found (as far as I know)
*Joseph Smith was a known "juggler" (con-man) arrested twice. His reputation in his home country, and elsehwere, was extremely bad.
*Joseph Smith got Fanny Alger, a 16 year old nanny he hired to care for his children, pregnant, 8 years before he claimed God sent an Angel with Flaming Sword to "force" him to have sex with young girls and the wives of other men. Fanny Alger named her illegitimate child "Orrison Smith".
*Joseph Smith publicly said "polygamy" was a "false and damnable doctrine of the devil" but he secretly practiced it.
*Brigham Young had people murdered, and owned a whiskey distillery, a beer hall, and tobacco farms; as well as renting many of his houses out in Salt Lake City as brothels (whore-houses).
*Brigham Young stole hundreds of thousands of dollars a year from the Tithing Office; never repaying it.
*The Church did teach the Curse of Cain Doctrine as "a doctrine of the Church" for 130 years (1848-1978) but now says "it was just some speculation and folklore" (a BIG LIE).
*The Church "changed" the Temple Endowment Ceremony numerous times: removing the Penalties in 1990.
*The Church "changed" the temple garments several times.
*The Church has "changed" and "rewritten" Mormon history, numerous times.
*Mormon leaders have LIED (usually by omission) to rank-and-file Members "for their own good" (to keep them"faithful")
*Mormon leaders cover-up the gross sins (rapes, child molestations, money-making scams) of their blood relatives, who never see the inside of a Church Court.
*Tens of thousands of Mormon teen girls get pregnant out of wedlock every year, and they are sent away from home to "homes" of retired Mormon couples, complete strangers, and they are pressured or "forced" to give up their babies to the Church (LDS Social Services), who then sells these babies to affluent Mormon couples who cannot have children. The Mormon girls are "counseled" to LIE.. to tell friends they were "living with relatives" for a year, and to tell their future husbands they were "virgins" before marriage,
*Mormon leaders and super-rich Mormons go through a super-secret "Second Anointing" ceremony, where they are told they will become Gods and Goddesses, and "may commit all manner of sin except shedding of innocent blood and denying the Holy Ghost" (i.e. leaving the Church) and still become Gods and Goddesses (i.e. they may lie, cheat, steal, do any sin but the "two" mentioned above and still be Exalted among the Gods)
*Most Mormons believe that Mormon "prophets" see and speak to Jesus in the Temple, but this is false, they do not see or speak with Jesus (except in prayer), and they continue to allow rank-and-file Mormons to believe this myth.
*The blood relatives of top Mormon leaders make many millions of dollars a year, from for-profit Church-owned businesses; that are established and sustained by the "interest" on tithing money.
*The Church built a 1.5 billion dollar "City Creek Mall" next to Temple Square in Salt Lake City. How many orphanages and schools for poor children in India and Africa could have been bought with that 1.5 billion dollars? Who owns the construction companies that build that 1.5 billion dollar shopping Mall?

These are NOT "false Anti-Mormon claims". These are ABSOLUTE CONFIRMED FACTS. I wasted my adult life in trying to refute these FACTS. I could not...because THEY ARE TRUE!

I decided I had to expose the TRUTH about Mormon history, about Joseph Smith, about Brigham Young, about the unethical and hypocritical behavior of past and current Mormon leaders, to the entire world, via the Internet. As the Apostle Paul wrote:

“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them” (Ephesians 5:11 RSV)
Mormons leaders have said in the past, in General Conference, that either Mormonism is true or false, and, if false, it should be exposed and known and examined.

“Each of us has to face the matter—either the Church is true, or it is a fraud. There is no middle ground. It is the Church and kingdom of God, or it is nothing.” (Mormon Church President Gordon B. Hinckley, LDS General Conference, April 2003).

“I will tell you who the real fanatics are: they are they who adopt false principles and ideas as facts, and try to establish a superstructure upon a false foundation… If our religion is of this character we want to know it; we would like to find a philosopher who can prove it to us.” (Mormon Church President Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, vol. 13, p. 272)

“If we have the truth, it cannot be harmed by investigation. If we have not the truth, it ought to be harmed." (Mormon Apostle J. Reuben Clark, from J. Reuben Clark, The Church Years: Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University Press, 1983, p. 24)

Get the book CES LETTER by Jeremy Runnells. Examine the evidence for yourself. Then give the book to your bishop, or Seminary Teacher, or Institute Instructor, and ask them to "reply to it. They won't. They never will. Instead, your bishop will accuse YOU of "unrepentent sin" that you haven't confessed yet, and "that is the reason why" you have doubts.

Yes, some Anti-Mormons "LIE" in order to make money from stupid gullible Evangelicals. Absolutely! No question about it. But, there are honest Anti-Mormons too:

*Bill McKeever (Mormonism Researched Ministry)
*Shawn McCraney ("Heart of the Matter" YouTube podcasts)
*Jeremy Runnells (Letter to a CES Director)
*John Dehlin (
*John Larson (
*Lee Baker (former Mormon bishop)
*Darrick Evenson (Anti-Mormon videos on YouTube)
*a few others...

All of the Anti-Mormons named above were once TBMs (True Believing Mormons) except for Bill McKeever (who was never a Mormon). All served full-time missions as missionaries for the LDS Church: except for Bill McKeever )who was never a Mormon) and Lee Baker (who converted as a married adult). All the individuals named above are "honest" Anti-Mormons. They are sincere. If they make honest "mistakes" they correct them.

Nothing in The CES Letter by Jeremy Runnells is a lie. Nothing in that book is historical inaccurate. 100% of it is based upon confirmed, undisputed, FACTS. And FACTS are stubborn things. If you want to known the TRUTH about Joseph Smith and Mormonism, then read the book (CES Letter), or read the free online pdf version of the book ("Letter to a CES Director"). They are the same. Remember the words of Mormon Apostle J. Reuben Clark:

Daheshism teaches that if Mormonism is false, that has absolutely no effect whatsoever on your Afterlife. You shall be punished and rewarding according to how you treat others who can feel joy and sorrow. You will NOT be judged on what church or religion you belong to, nor which doctrines you believe or do not believe. If a man believes the World is flat, and babies come from cabbage patches, yet he helps the widows and orphans, and helps his neighbor in time of need, he shall get a great reward on his Day of Judgment. However, should a man have all the knowledge in the Cosmos, yet if he mistreats others, deceives others, uses others for his own pleasure and gain, thereby causes others to suffer, then, on his Day of Judgment (his next mortal life), he will be born with punishments in body and mind, and shall suffer greatly for as many lifetimes as it takes to "pay the uttermost farthing".

Therefore, ultimately, it does not matter if Joseph Smith was a fraud or a true Prophet of God. If Joseph Smith said "Be truthful and treat all others well" and you obey that, then YOU shall be rewarded; NOT because you obeyed Joseph Smith, but because you treated others well. You will not be tossed into Hell-fire for all eternity because you believed that Joseph Smith was a true Prophet or that the Nephites once roamed the Americas with their horses, chariots, cattle, oxen, donkies, goats, and steel swords and helmets. One "goes to Hell" because you have caused the suffering of others, and the Law of Karma is operative upon all things. If you cause suffering, then you shall suffer. If you show mercy to others, then mercy shall be shown unto you.

If you are "happy" in the LDS Church, and find that you can lead a life filled with good works in it, then remain in it, and do good. But, if you are Seeker of Truth, and must have Truth no matter what the consequences, then read Jeremy's book, and then you will know the TRUTH about Joseph Smith and Mormonism.

If you can't afford to buy CES LETTER (10 dollars), then you are welcome to read the free online pdf version. There are free pdf versions in English, Spanish, Portuguese, Finnish, Swedish, Russian, and Japanese. An html version of the book is being prepared now.

Most Mormons who leave the Church become Atheists or Agnostics. They think like this:

"The Church is false, and taught me lies since I was born. It's all lies! The Church taught me that God exists, so that must be a lie. The Church taught me that Jesus was the Son of God, so that too must be a lie. The Church taught me that there was an Afterlife, so that TOO must also be a lie...because the Church is a LIE and taught me nothing but lies!"

That's how most Ex-Mormons "think". Since the Church is BOGUS, everything the Church taught (i.e. God lives, Jesus lives, there is an Afterlife, etc.) must also be BOGUS. Since Mormonism is a Man-Made Religion, they reason, ALL religions must be also man-made religions. They assume this without studying all religions. That is what they now "want" to believe it! I never thought that way. I've had too many supernatural experiences to "think" in that manner. A full account of my paranormal experiences is found in my book FALLING INTO THE SUN! online.


From Mormon Apologist To Anti-Mormon YouTuber

In the mid-1980s I wrote a book and did cassette tapes defending the LDS Church against anti-Mormon attacks. My book was called The Gainsayers (published by Horizon Publishers--a large publisher of Mormon books at the time). My cassette tapes series was called "A Defense of the Faith Tape Series" that was published by Tree of Life Productions (a small Mormon tape cassette publisher out of Las Vegas). I was a "Mormon Apologist" (defender of the Faith). My book The Gainsayers was very popular with Mormon missionaries in the 1990s. They used my book because the LDS Church, which has billions of dollars, did not spend one "dime" trying to help Mormon missionaries who had investigators with "Difficult Gospel Questions" (anti-Mormon questions). Not one thin "dime". Many Mormon missionaries lost all (100%) of their golden investigators (i.e. sincere investigators without Word of Wisdom or moral problems) to Anti-Mormon literature in the 1980s and 1990s. The Church did not lift a "finger" to help their own missionaries! My book did.

My book, The Gainsayers, refuted the BIG LIES found in "The God Makers" film by Ed Decker (an ex-Mormon con-man). However, after I wrote that book, I spent many years researching "Mormon Truth Claims". I compared the FACTS with Mormon Church Truth Claims, and the FACTS won!

As a Mormon missionary in the early 1980s, we had a saying: "A man convinced against his of the same opinion still!" It means that MOST people believe what they "want" to believe but not necessarily what is "factual". Most African-Americans do not believe you when you tell them that black chiefs sold their ancestors to white slavers. That is factual, but they don't want to believe it; so, they don't. Christians didn't want to believe that Ed Decker was a con-man, and that his film "The God Makers" contained many LIES. So, they didn't. Mormons do not want to believe the FACTS about Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Mormon leaders, and the other FACTS about Mormonism. So....they don't. Simple as that.

But..."TRUTH" is not "subject" to our wants, and desires. Truth is not necessarily what we "want" to believe. Truth is independent of our "wants". Most True Believing Mormons who read this will not believe it, because they don't "want" to believe it; even though 100% of what I write her is FACTUAL.

By the same token, most Ex-Mormons who read this article will not believe it; because they are now Atheists, who have concluded, without study, that "all Prophets are false and all religions are myths". Without study! They have made that conclusion because that is now what they "want" to believe. So...they do. Evangelicals will not believe this article because it goes contrary to what they "want" to believe. However, 100% of what I write in this article is the TRUTH, the whole TRUTH, and nothing but the TRUTH! However, again, a man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.

TRUTH is not subject to our "wants" and "desires". TRUTH is simply what "IS"

In the late 1980s I had a roommate, a BYU graduate, recently divorced from a Miss Utah runner-up (she divorced him because of his multiple adulteries). Over the course of 18 months I saw him take dozens upon dozens of active Mormon women and girls to his bedroom. He told me he had sex with them; although I never actually "SAW" him having sex with them. But these Mormon girls would call during the day, many times, and ask for my roommate and say: "WHY hasn't he called me?? WHY hasn't he called me??" He was "using" Mormon girls for sex, and then tossing them away, picking up a "new" Mormon girl for sex, and then throwing them away, and this cycle continued. I tried to warn the girls. I said to them: "He does NOT love you! He is only USING you for sex! He does not even respect you!" All of them, 100% of them, called me a "Liar" and or a "Loser". Not one of them believed me, even though I told them the PURE TRUTH. I relate this true story in my YouTube video Mormon SEX Scandals and Cover-ups.

These young Mormon women "wanted" him to love them, and marry them in the Temple. But he didn't even respect them. When talking to me, he referred to them as "sluts" and "whores"; yet he continued to use them for sex, and dump them. My warnings were ignored, and they accused ME of being a "liar" when I told them nothing but the Truth.

I told the Mormon bishop of the Ward I attended (a Young Adult Ward), that my roommate was "having sex with" dozens of young attractive Mormon women, and girls, and then tossing them to the side. He said: "I find that HARD to believe! Mormon women would NEVER DO what you are accusing them of doing!" Again, just like before, the Bishop did not WANT to believe the Truth, so...he didn't. He married a Mormon woman and later converted. His Mormon wife told him things like "Mormon girls never have sex before marriage" and he believed it. He was like most Mormon bishops I knew: arrogant, self-righteous, and extremely ignorant. He only believed what he "wanted" to believe. Most men are like that. Most women too.

The Mormon girls who had sex with my roommate were not "sluts". They were in "love". They believed he "loved" them too. He didn't. He didn't even respect them. He just "used" them and then tossed them away. The women had love and respect for him, but none for me. Because I was poor. I eventually lost all respect for them. They thought they could have sex with my roommate, then be sealed in the Temple with him, have a happy life, then be exalted in yonder heavens as eternal Goddesses: being served day and night by servant-angels. Wow! They thought they could "fool" God, but God "fooled" them. They were utter fools and Hypocrites of the worse possible kind. I kept on "seeing" the same kind of behavior among Mormons, for years to come. Most of them believe that as long as you don't talk about "sex" and don't even say the word "sex", yet have sex in private, that's okay, God does not care, and all is well. Pure hypocrisy!

Most (just about all) of the Mormon women and girls who gave my roommate sex (mostly in the form or "oral sex" which most Mormons don't recognize as "sex"), later married active Mormon men in LDS temples, and raised their children in the Church. How many of these women "confessed" to their bishops or their husbands that they had "sinned" with my roommate? I think you'd find that none of them did! Mormons believe that if your Bishop doesn't know about your secret "activities" then God doesn't know either, or He just doesn't care.

I discovered that Mormons consider their women "perpetually innocent". If they get pregnant out of wedlock, it is always a case of rape. If they lie, it is because some evil man "forced" them to lie. Mormon women were always presented to me as sinless beings; completely incapable of sin unless "forced to" by some evil male. Any criticism of their behavior was immediately condemned as "misogyny" (hatred of women). Mormon women were sinless beings. That is how the Mormon Church presents them. I remember telling a Mormon Bishop once: "Mormon women lie to me all the time!!" He gave me a bad look and said: "Mormon women DON'T LIE, but...if they lied to you they were justified in doing so!"

Most Mormons view material success as a "sign" of righteousness; that one has been "blessed" by God for being a good Mormon. Conversely, they view poverty as a "sign" of UNrighteousness; that one has led a sinful life, and thus been denied the material (here and now) "blessings" of God. That is why my fornicating/dishonest roommate, who was seducing all sorts of Mormon girls and then dumping them, was "judged" by Mormons (including bishops) are being "worthy" (righteous), and I, being poor, was "judged" by them as being UNworthy (unrighteous/sinful). But Jesus never promised His disciples Earthly "blessings" for living the Gospel. He said "in this World ye shall have tribulation" (troubles). But the righteous are promised "treasures in heaven"; not on Earth. Mormons don't "see" it that way. They see wealth/charisma/popularity/earthly-success as "Signs" from God that that person is righteous. That is how all those Mormon women, and Mormon bishops, viewed my fornicating roommate.

Most Mormons today, especially affluent Mormons, believe in something called the Prosperity Gospel. It's also called the Gospel of Success and the Gospel of Gain. You do "stuff" for God, and in return God sends you earthly wealth and success. Every pagan religion is based upon this. This is why Mormons are such "suckers" for get-rich-quick schemes. This is why Utah is the "Fraud capital of America" and has been since the 1970s. In the minds of most Mormons "wealth" equal "righteousness and "poverty" equals wickedness. My fornicating roommate was judged "righteous" and I was judged "wicked". In reality (Truth), the very opposite was true. You can listen to the true story of my roommate and what happened on YouTube in the video Mormon Sex Scandals and Cover-Ups.

The Mormons I knew (just about all of them) had an amazing ability to "compartmentalize" their lives into "public" and "private" folders. They were good Mormons in "public" but in "private" they did whatever they wanted to do; even if such activity was completely against Church "rules". For most Mormons there are two "sets" of rules: the spoken rules, and the unspoken rules. Public behavior, and private behavior. Chaste and moral in public, "sexual beings" in private. They saw ____ absolutely NO contradiction___ in this. They divided themselves into "Church" "business" and "private" categories, and had different rules for each. They judged themselves, and others, "worthy" or "unworthy" according to their "status" in Church and the World. They shunned the poor, the fat, the unattractive, and those they perceived to be of a "lower class" than they were. As Jesus said: " By their shall know them."

Mormons love to think of themselves as the Chosen, the very Elect of God. Yet, by their behavior, they are no different from "The World". They lie as much, they commit adultery just as much, they cheat in business at the same rate, they have sex before marriage at the very same rate, as the general white American public does. Utah is the "Fraud Capital" of the United States, and has been for many decades. Suicide and perscription drug use is higher in Utah than most other states: as is subsription to cable porn. Rates of depression in women is much higher. They are ___no different__ in honesty or morality than is the white American population. I would say that 10% of active Mormons are very honest/moral, and 10% of active Mormons are VERY dishonest and immoral, and 80% fall in-between those extremes: exactly like the general population does. No difference!

Most TBMs (True Believing Mormons) won't believe the FACTS I present in this article. Not in a million years! They don't "want" to believe don't!

Most Mormons are like most people: they will only accept that they "want" to believe as true, as if "TRUTH" is somehow dependent upon our "wants".

Everything that I write in this article is the studied, tested, verifiable TRUTH! Whether you "want" to accept that, or not!

As a Mormon I would sometimes have a "thought" or a dream that I was going to become an Anti-Mormon. I thought at that time those thoughts were of Satan. However, ironically, many years after leaving the LDS Church, I have produced "anti-Mormon" YouTube videos such as "Mormons & Sex" and "Mormon Secrets". All my YouTube videos are 100% honest and 99% accurate, but, of course, some Mormons accuse me of being an adulterer, liar, Nazi, homosexual, pedophile, or "in it for the money". ALL ___LIES____! I was never any of those things. I've spend thousands doing YouTube videos, and not made a "dime" in return. I'm not doing this to make money. I'm doing this because Mormon leaders are lying (to the public and to the rank-and-file Members) and I feel the "need" to expose their lies. I simply "tell the Truth" about Mormonism and Mormons, which is contrary to how the Church presents itself to the public. I believe people "have the right to know the Truth" and facts. That's all.

There are two types of people in this world:

1. People who believe only what they "want" to believe (as if truth is dependent on our "wants")

2. People who compare claims to known facts, and rely on evidence.

Most people only believe what they "want" to believe. Most Mormons are that way. Most humans are that way.

I spent many years, tens of thousands of hours, comparing Mormon Truth Claims with Anti-Mormon Truth Claims. I "wanted" to believe the Mormon Truth Claims, but the Anti-Mormon Truth Claims turned out to be TRUE (most of them). I had to follow the evidence, even though I didn't "want" to.

For a True Believing Mormon (TBM), finding out the TRUTH about Joseph Smith and Mormonism is like discovering your parents are murderous serial killers. It is absolutely DEVASTATING, and something no TBM "wants" to believe. But...I had to go with the overwhelming "evidence"; like it or not.

Get the book CESL LETTER by Jeremy Runnells. Read it. If you can't afford the book, read the online pdf version. Look at all the evidence for yourself. Most TBMs will never do that. They will wave their hand and say "It's all lies!" without even looking at the evidence. Like I said, Mormons are like most people: if they don't "want" to believe something, they simply don't; evidence be damned.

I list my Anti-Mormon YouTube videos at the bottom of the last page.

If Catholicism is true, then all who are not Roman Catholics will burn in eternal Hell-fire. If Eastern Orthodoxy is true, then all who are Eastern Orthodox will burn in unending Hell-fire. If Fundamentalist (Wahabi) Islam is true, then everyone who is not a "Salafi" (Wahabi) Muslim will burn forever in Hell-fire. If Evangelical Chrisitianity is true, then everyone who is not a (Evangelical) Christian will burn in Hell-fire forever, and never receive mercy.

The Eastern Religions (Buddhism, Jainism, Taoism, Cao Dail) teach differently, that we are judged by our karma; our actions, and not our beliefs. Many hells and heavens exist in the Eastern Religions, but none are "eternal" in nature except for Nirvana.

Once again, if the Noble Spiritual Faith (Daheshism) is true, then believing that Joseph Smith was a Prophet, or a Fraud, has absolutely no bearing on our Afterlife. We are "judged" 'by how we "treat" other beings who can feel sorrow and joy. All living things on this planet can feel sorrow, or joy, except insects and fish and birds. We are all judged by our KARMA (actions), and not by our beliefs, or what church or religion we belong to, nor how well we "obey" or disobey our religious leaders. Mormons who live a life filled with good works towards others, have nothing to fear in the Spirit-World, nor on they Day of Judgment; which is their next mortal life on this world, or some other planet.

In January of 1977, at the age of 16, I had the overwhelming "urge" to visit the Los Angeles Zoo, on a cold overcast day. There, I saw a group of men speaking Arabic. I approached them to see if I could recognize their language as Hebrew or Arabic. A bald stocky man came out of the men's room, and our eyes met, briefly. He quickly walked over to the other men, about 8 or them, and pointed directly at ME! There was nobody near me, and nobody behind me. He YELLED something in Arabic, as He pointed at me. The other men rushed over and surrounded Him, as they looked alternately at me, then Him, at me again, at Him again, etc. They had looks of amazement and perplexity on their faces.

I was SCARED! I had no idea who this bald man was, nor why He was yelling and pointing directly at me. I felt like running, but, instead, I walked very fast. I got on the the next bus, and headed home.

By July, 1983, I was a Mormon, and "called to the California San Jose Mission for 18 months. I heard in Mormon Sunday School, that Jesus was supposed to return before the year 2000. The Sunday School teacher was raised to believe that the Earth had only "6,000 years of temporal existence". Adam was created about 4000 B.C. Therefore, the year 2000, give or take a few years, had to be the beginning of the Millennium: the time Jesus would return, sitting or standing upon a cloud in the sky, with thousands of angels blowing trumpets.

This concerned me greatly. Would I have enough "time" to go on a mission, then go to college for four years, then get married, and raise children, before the Great and Dreadful Day of the LORD; which, back in 1983, most Mormons expected on or a little before the year 2000. So, I fasted and prayed. I fell asleep. I had a dream where I left my body, and flew towards the Moon. I was jerked away, and headed for the Sun. I still remember seeing the "angry" flames of the surface of the Sun. I was not harmed. I came out the other side, and noticed "Suns revolving around a central white Sun. I approached fast. A "being of light" got in my way. He was glorious, but did NOT look like Jesus. I asked "When is Jesus coming back?" He opened his mouth and said something I could not understand, but, in my mind, he said "He's in New York City".

I awoke from my dream in a cold sweat. The next day, I told my Dad: "Would you like to go to New York City?" He smiled and said: "Oh, I wouldn't mind it!" He was retired by then, on disability. I had the overwhelming "URGE" to go to New York City. But, I talked myself out of it. Wasn't easy. After all, I was called on a mission for the Mormon Church, and my bishop was paying for it all. I could not disappoint him. I still believed in Mormonism. So, I concluded my dream was just a very strange lucid dream, and soon I left for the Missionary Training Center, in Provo, Utah.

Continued (Sections 10~15)
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